fucking dorothy from men behaving badly
after an awful greek hairdresser cut off a foot of hair and turned my hair into a helmet when i was about 19, i walked in from the hairdressers, fighting back the tears. my flatmates, who were watching "men behaving badly", fell about in hysterics, telling me i looked just like a (thinner and younger!) caroline quentin.

then they tried to tell me it was a compliment. as. fucking. if.

just as the thirteenth pint was calming me down and i was starting to believe that perhaps she wasn't that bad, caroline quentin started nagging martin clunes about why he didn't want sex. my then-boyfriend oswald hurled a cushion at the screen.

"it's because you're a fat, ugly cow you stupid bitch, noone would want sex with you," he howled. the room went very very quiet.

i considered suing him, the hairdresser, my flatmates, caroline quentin, her hairdresser, the bbc...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 3 Jun 2007, 21:46, Reply)