Job interview
I'm in my dorm, in college. The phone rings.

"Allo please, izz ziss Herr Ennui Kissinger?"

If my lame attempt at phonetic spelling doesn't cut it, the chap is speaking in what is clearly an extra-fake germanic accent. Obviously, its my friend Todd, who can't make a single call without turning it into a joke. I decide naturally to play along.

Me: "Hoo vood like to know? I say nuzzink!"

"Todd": "Vas? I sink you are confused, mein herr..."

Me: "Ich promise you, alles klar!"

"Todd": "Do you know mit whoms you are spikking? I sink you do
not know ziss!"

Me: "Oh, ich can say nuzzing! But you hevv vays of making me talk, ja?"

This goes on for some time, getting sillier and sillier. Eventually I get tired of the game.

Me: "Hey Todd, what going on man..."

"Todd": "Ahh, I am correct, you hevv no idea whom it izz you are
spikking mit.."

Me: "yeah yeah enough of the shit man, hows things..."

"Todd": "You hevv no idea who I emm...."

Me (getting nervous): "Uhhhhhh....."

"Todd": "You appliet to me fur ein job."

Oh shit.

Oh shit.

Well, its unlikely I'm going to the get job now I suppose...

Indeed, it was an odd little guy who ran a museum in the middle of nowhere that I had applied to for an internship. There was an embarrassed silence for a while and then I tried to apologize. Actually, he was nice enough to send me an application, but that turned out to have no questions about my interests and experience but only items like "what do you think of homosexuals?" and "if you were left a large sum of money how would you spend it?" Between that and the interview I thought it better not to apply. I should really go and visit the museum someday.

Since then I never speak to anyone on the phone without being sure of who they are.
(Ennui Kissinger, Fri 8 Jun 2007, 2:41, Reply)