Warning! May contain children! Warning!
Roasted peas.

Background:
The wife and I decided some years ago that we didn't want to do the baby thing but still wanted a family, so we decided to adopt. The whole process is a bit of a nightmare is actively designed to put you off (men are considered kiddie-fiddlers until they can prove otherwise) and it can take some time.
So after 18 months of Interesting Times we get to meet the two boys (Bert & Ernie, ages 5 and 3) and they move in, it sounds simple but trust me it is not. That was a year ago and it's been interesting... We always knew it would be as adoptive kids usually come bundled with a whole heap of software problems.

One of weird things about adopting is that you don't really know much about the kids before they come to you, no idea about what they've done, no clue about their favourite films etc. So it can be a bit of a muddle as you work out what works and what doesn't. You sometimes assume things about their experiences and now and again you get caught out, for instance when my wife and I took them to a fireworks night. Bert the eldest thought it was the best thing in the world, he'd never seen fireworks before. At the time he was 5 years old.
5 years old and had never seen fireworks, FFS.

Okay, onto the daft bit.
The Main Story:
So we went to Bristol recently, parked the car in a multi-story, down the stairs, look around, food, look at boats, had a nice day etc.
Time to go back to the car.
Get in lift, off we go, then get out. And Ernie (the youngest) stops.
Me: What's up, kiddo?
Ernie: ..... (looking around)
It's different.
Me: Eh?
Ernie: It's different Dad! It's magic!!! (lot's of smiling)
Me to the wife: Eh?
Wife: He's never been in a lift before...
Me: Ohhhhh....

The little fella now thinks lifts are the best, bless him.
Note. This story is from a few years ago and he now doesn't think lifts are magical but he does take every opportunity to go in one.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 16:32, 13 replies)

that is interesting
Out of interest, what sort of screening did you have to go through? I'm guessing in today's paranoid era it must have been pretty intrusive
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 17:16, closed)

Yes, it is.
It can take up to a year to get approved, it consists of many, many interviews with a social worker, filling out a many, many forms and it's designed to bring up any discrepancies to where you lived, attitude etc. They'll contact past partners for references and ask you all about your sex life. If you try to hide anything it'll be noticed at some point.
Our social worker was concerned at one point because my wife and I had not faced any undue hardship together and she was unsure how we'd cope. Not 3 weeks later my wife's grandfather died, then 2 days later my father went and then the cat was obviously feeling left out and joined in too. We had to put the adoption process on hold for a few months but when we restarted our social worker was other the moon with what we'd been through.... :)
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 17:26, closed)

wow
Big respect for your ability to put up with this shite and give a home to some little people who needed it
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 20:50, closed)

Well, it wasn't for completely altruistic reasons but thank you.
The whole thing is normal for us and we don't try and brush it under the carpet.
Funny thing was whilst going through the process my sister was very worried about what we were doing and her biggest argument was "You don't know what you're going to get?"
Thing is, you get a awful lot of paperwork that tells you in black and white their background and everything that is going on.
My reply to my sister was even those that have their own kids don't know what their going to get and she should remember that her eldest child of 20 has severe asperger's syndrome...
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Wed 29 Jan 2014, 9:01, closed)

Joyous moments
Who can argue with this post?
(username failed moderation, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 17:40, closed)

I can guess.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 28 Jan 2014, 19:11, closed)

What ho!

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 22:37, closed)

Back in your box you. :)

(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Wed 29 Jan 2014, 8:55, closed)

Fostering and adopting are genuinely excellent and admirable things to do. Bravo.
Particularly since you appear to have chosen some really thick ones.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 19:31, closed)

Thick? You have no idea...
We were playing monopoly the other day and the eldest bought a station off his brother for £500 and not 5 mins later sold it back for £100... The eldest thought he'd had a good deal, even his younger brother facepalmed...
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 20:39, closed)

Hahaha.
And this is why answers should be able to win.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 21:51, closed)

I remember
this story the first time round, and it's still great.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 20:40, closed)

Ta muchly

(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Wed 29 Jan 2014, 8:55, closed)