I have a pet snake
I've posted about her before- she's not the brightest spark, and will do things like tie herself into knots and then panic, or "hide" by burying her head and thinking she's safe, not realising that the other two feet of her is sticking out in the open...

Anyway, a few weeks ago I was holding her while reading, and she crawled under my hair. This isn't too unusual- I have very long hair, so it's warm, and dark, which is pretty much snake heaven (much like how she treats any warm beverage, sleeves, and unguarded cleavage.) This time, however, I sneezed. Sudden noises make snakes panic! So she instinctively curled up into a ball. This meant that she had woven herself into my hair and then effectively "knotted" herself in.

I tried pulling her out gently, but she was pretty freaked so she just clung even tighter. Then I tried leaving her to crawl out on her own, but at that point I think she realised she was 'safe' and had dozed off. By now I'm panicking- there's a snake stuck in my hair, and she has been known to sleep for days!

At this point the phone rang (the snake twitched irritably at the noise), and my friend asked me if I was going to the pub. I declined with the frantic babble: "I might be late! I have a snake stuck in my hair!" I whispered it as softly as possible, and hung up.

In the end, after 40 minutes, I managed to coax her out with a defrosted mouse.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 21:03, 8 replies)

Great final sentence.

( 4Q just lurking, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 21:06, closed)

I know, couldn't think how to end it.
I'll edit the bugger when I'm less tired. ;)
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 21:09, closed)

No, really - I wasn't being sarcastic.
Read it in an Alan Partridge voice.
( 4Q just lurking, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 22:56, closed)

Unlikely
the snake reacted to the phone. They are almost deaf within the frequencies of a phone ringing. Unless it was a mobile on vibrate close to your person. Or you chose the sound of thunder as your ringtone!
(el perro grande, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 22:35, closed)

Haha, well it was in my pocket. Close enough?

(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 10:08, closed)

Medusa lols

(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Sat 2 Feb 2013, 2:06, closed)

Out of interest
Over the years I've met about a dozen women who had pet snakes, usually a boa constrictor or python.

Without exception all of the women had either a) dyed purple or goth style jet black hair, b) facial piercings, c) tattoos visible even when they're fully dressed or d) all of the above.

Not judgemental just an observation.

How many do you have on the checklist?
(Barnetboy, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 15:19, closed)

None.
I have waist length red hair (possible hippie points there to you?), the only piercings I have are in my ears and my tattoo is on my ankle so it can be easily covered when I'm at work. :P

I have a snake because my brother and I like them so much we used to draw comic strips about them, and because I'm allergic to anything fluffy. ;)
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 15:28, closed)