Our cat HATES our dogs
But one day while we were out for an evening of over-priced entertainment they worked together. It was around this time last year, just before Valentines. I had stored a rather large slab of chocolate from one of these posh chocolate shops on top of our wardrobe to present to my betrothed for the afore-mentioned corporate-inspired holiday.

Sometime after we left, the cat swanned in through the cat-flap and was promptly chased up on top of the wardrobe by the dog, knocking said bar of chocolate down as he fled for his very life. The dog, no doubt thought xmas had come early and devoured all but a small piece. Upon our return we found one very square dog and were treated to chocolate smelling vomit for the following 10 hours.

The poor thing has the dog equivalent of IBS, and sometimes he surprises himself at the smells that emanate from his back passage.

Edit: The cat is a tough bastard, he's twatted both dogs on the nose more than once for merely sniffing him. Also, we did contact the vets regarding the dog's chocolate eating addiction, and it turns out dark chocolate is more poisonous.
(vampyre_gem has been dead since, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 9:44, 21 replies)

Why are none of you people capable of closing a fucking door?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 10:00, closed)

Why are none of 'you people' capable of reading a post without the urge to have a fucking go? Get a life ffs. There's a big wide world beyond the keyboard you're staring at.
(vampyre_gem has been dead since, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 10:49, closed)

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 11:40, closed)

Thing is, he's shut the door so he doesn't have to look at it all the time.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 16:28, closed)

It's vindictive, purposeless trolling like this that is killing QOTW.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 19:09, closed)

Do you make sure that you close all internal doors before you go out?
Do you have any other forms of obsessive-compulsive behaviour that you wish to share with the group?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 6 Feb 2013, 12:04, closed)

If I had pets, and wanted said pets to stay out of a particular room, I'd close the door.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 12:15, closed)

To be fair to the OP, he did stash the chocolate on top of a wardrobe
I don't think he was expecting the cat to jump up there and knock it off.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 6 Feb 2013, 13:46, closed)

Cats not being known for their climbing ability, obviously.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 15:28, closed)

You're lucky it didn't kill him.
Dogs can't digest chocolate properly, there's some kind of stuff in there that is toxic to them, which they can't metabolise.

A good sized bar of the stuff is capable of killing all but the biggest dog.
(username failed moderation, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 12:29, closed)

Top class pet care, there.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 12:39, closed)

Isn't playtime
over yet?

I'm sure I heard the bell. Off you go.
(username failed moderation, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 13:07, closed)

You might want to see a doctor about that tinnitus.
Unless it's schizophrenia making you hear bells on the internet.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 13:33, closed)

I wish I had a posh chocolate shop
on top of my wardrobe.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 15:29, closed)

Sure you could.
You could call it Mini Wonka's.
(piston_broke Actually thinks Supermatt is a decent bloke., Wed 6 Feb 2013, 15:30, closed)

Alright The Luggage.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 16:27, closed)

So who's that then?

(piston_broke Actually thinks Supermatt is a decent bloke., Wed 6 Feb 2013, 18:46, closed)

Finster
Mousey, my Siamese, used to ambush next doors yappy terrier, cruelly funny watching him circle around the garden to get behind it.
Ex wife's dog used to get its water bowl regularly topped up by the self same cat if it was too cold for it to go outdoors and spray the neighbours garage door.

Best dog mauling cat I owned when a youngster was a ferocious semi feral little tortoiseshell rescued as a kitten whom I called Mumps. Grandparents came round one Christmas with their stupid poodle which immediately ran up to the sleeping little monster and gave it a good sniff, upon being rudely awoken, Mumps realised it was a dog and slashed its nose 3 times with a right left right combination in under a second. Cue blood, yelping and distraught grandmother. Cue its young owner trying hard not to be heard laughing as he took the outraged cat and shut it in another room for the duration.
(Finster Ate a cat biscuit for a bet, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 15:39, closed)

This nearly happened to me once, but fortunately,I'd shut the door to the room storing things I didn't want the cat to get at.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 16:04, closed)

Fucking hell, steady on Mr OCD, internal doors aren't for restricting access to a particular room.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 16:36, closed)

I removed all the doors from my house.
Now I have a pile of dead toddlers at the bottom of the stairs, and thieves took my TV, but at least I'm not crazy.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 19:26, closed)