I moved house
the title of this story should really tell you all you need to know.

if you have decided to read further dear reader i shall apologise now for the length of this article.

i used to live in a shitty (luxury it said) apartment in the north west of England, St Helens to be vaguely accurate. It was shit, well it was great for about 12 months, then things started to go wrong.

The hot water packed in, i reported it to the land lord and it took 2 weeks before he sent out his brother to twat the hot water tank with a lump hammer...i mean i could have done that, i wouldn't have been able to pull the dribbly one time face of someone that carries an extra chromosome the way he did but i would have had a go.

Anyway cutting to the chase i had just been accepted for a new job down on the south coast. Somewhere in the Dorset area. I found a lovely little apartment that was affordable and brilliantly kitted out.

ONE BIG PROBLEM....RATS!!

loads and loads of fucking rats.

I had to call a control officer guy to come and sort that shit out. The worst thing about the whole ordeal was that i have an affinity with the south coast so many memories of holidaying down there i didnt want to admit to myself that MY SOUTH COAST had let me down so badly.

But ultimately i had to accept defeat and agree that they were there and they were there to stay Pests in my own Bournemouth
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 10 Jan 2015, 3:38, 8 replies)

i do deserve to be told to fuck off

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 10 Jan 2015, 3:45, closed)

That was really, really shit.
You could have gone down the coast a bit and said "pests in my own Mousehole"
( Ghoti Fingers, Sat 10 Jan 2015, 11:50, closed)

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 10 Jan 2015, 12:35, closed)

is this what school teachers give out now instead of marking things wrong?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 10 Jan 2015, 16:47, closed)

Probably
Anything else would be an instant trigger for Yewtree these days.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 10 Jan 2015, 22:45, closed)

"See me"

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 11 Jan 2015, 13:38, closed)

Stop triggering my Pavlovian erection reflex.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 11 Jan 2015, 20:31, closed)