The BIG BUST.
This is a true story, it happened to a friend of a friend of mine.

4 young blokes sharing a house, 2 brothers and their best mates. They all work hard and they all play, fucking scarily. Each of them has a chemical vice, different in type to each other.
One loves his skag and prefers to smoke it off a gilded, heated spoon tied to a Lace Monitor.
Another enjoys partaking in de ganja and regularly chuffs it up by using an elaborate 3x 25L buckets and hosepipe setup to fill his lungs with about 10 cones at once at about 30 psi.
The youngest brother is a bit of a billy the whizz kid and likes to mainline his cooked speed straight into a vein on his turgid cock as he wanks. The elder brother is more laid back - all he takes is acid (this was the 90's dude). Using his connections as former bio-chem graduate he makes his own 'mix' which he regularly droppers into his eyes or pipettes into his beer.
As all of them aren't yet doing management level jobs they often sell their drugs of choice to the general public. From their shared rental house. At all hours of the day and night.

EDITED for the dimwits
Now none of the fellas are angels and they've all had dealings with the plod - so they are all au-fait when it comes to interacting with the local constabulary. Eventually one of their neighbours was going to get sick of cars turning up for 10 min. or so at a time at 3am and were going twig to what was happening.
It's because of their complete disregard for this that the four housemates were surprised to find a lone copper standing on their doorstep at about 1am on a Tuesday morning. With a signed warrant to search the premises.
Despite their efforts to pull out the barely used bong and small amount of weed from under the kitchen sink (somewhat of a "lightning rod" to draw the D's away from the bigger fish in the house) the young copper walked through the house with a purpose and went directly to each of the young men's stash spots, immediately finding sale-able quantities each time. All in all amounting to jail time for all involved.
The housemates were aghast - clearly he had inside information.
At the end of the search - he even bagged up an confiscated all the liquor in the house and beer in the fridge, the young cop sat them all down at the kitchen table. By this time they weren't just quaking with fear but also justifiable anger at who had double-crossed them.

He told them each what they were going to charged with and suggested some of the consequences they might face.
At this point one of the (smarter) lads quipped - "Why are you here on your own? Normally cops patrol in twos and even so - they never search a property on their own."

The young copper sat quietly for a moment, thinking (it would seem) and then said -
"Did you just threaten a police officer?"
Of course facing the raft of charges in front of them the entire house erupted in a chorus of "No No No No No No..." and tried as hard as they could to show their deference towards the young officer of the law. They even helped him load the evidence bags into the boot of his unmarked car.

When the cases eventually came to court the young blokes were amazed to find that their charges were somewhat less than what they had expected. It appeared that the amount of evidence against them did not match what they thought had been confiscated off them on the night. Not surprisingly none of them contested this 'fact' and all paid a few hundred dollars in fines.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:27, 46 replies)

Someone I know got caught with 2000 E's which had become 50 by the time he was charged.
Also a few (about 20) years ago there was a big scandal in NW London where people kept getting busted with hash with fingerprint powder on it, from where it had been dusted the last time it was confiscated. That was rather lol.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:42, closed)

By which I mean shup up MM you liar.
If your mate's mythical mates weren't such utter flids they could have denied the fucking lot and walked without so much as a caution. A fucking photocopy boy at their briefs' practices could have told them as much.

As such, this story is a lie and you've been spun a yarn - or are attempting to do the same. Did this 'lone young copper' just drive them all to the station on his own, having arrested them all, on his own, with no witnesses etc etc. I don't know how it works in Yabbie Creek but come off it.

Big, hairy bollocks.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 9:45, closed)

No Monty.
He charged them. That doesn't mean he arrested them.
All they had to do was front court on the given day.

Jesus. You're either really thick or (luckily for you) you've never had any dealings with "The Law".
Particularly court-side.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 2 Aug 2013, 12:20, closed)

Uh OK.
So how do people get arrested on suspicion of committing a crime, and then released without charge?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 12:24, closed)

Thick it is then
Nvm.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 2 Aug 2013, 12:27, closed)

b3ta.com/questions/mtfu/post2036294
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 12:32, closed)

If it were in the US it would almost make sense.
Under UK or Oz law it's utter nonsense. I suspect Billy Bullshit has been watching too much crap crime telly.
(alright alright, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 12:46, closed)

Gotcha.
Thick it is then.

Nvm.


(I don't know what that means, but it sounds well cool)

EDIT I think I've worked it out
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 12:49, closed)

What does Nvm mean?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 12:38, closed)

'Nullo virgin, me'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 12:54, closed)

Jesus. Snort a valium Grandad.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 2 Aug 2013, 13:03, closed)

Nevermind
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 5:35, closed)

So this is an urban legend set in the US then.

(alright alright, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 12:35, closed)

Hmmmmm......
b3ta.com/questions/massivedrugs/post871413
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 12:45, closed)

AB I just thought I should let you know that there's another
person doing "Recognition of others by posting links to Marshmallow posts" out there.
Not so much as Total Destruction as stealing off AB.
You might want to deal with that, quicksmart.

Isn't that your "thing"?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 3 Aug 2013, 8:04, closed)

This is like saying that because you're an illiterate, easily upset 50 year old bloke no-one else should be.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 6 Aug 2013, 17:37, closed)

Now see that wasn't witty.
It was just shit, like a lot of the stuff you usually post. And it's inaccurate.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 6 Aug 2013, 23:00, closed)

MASSIVE DRUGS and police corruption!
This is a much better, even if it does make me stroke my beard in disbelief.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 10:11, closed)

How is this better?
I know you like to play the holier than thou friendly boarder but this is just another dreary 'please love me' lie.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 10:20, closed)

Eh, I found it fairly entertaining (I quite like urban legends).
I do think that I'm better than everyone else, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 10:24, closed)

I liked the bit at the end where they thought they'd caught a fairy but it turns out to be a dwarf with Downs or something

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 10:43, closed)

Wow. You really are dumb as fuck.

(alright alright, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 10:11, closed)

Not quite in your league Misery but I had a friend who was busted* onboard a fishing vessel
that was being used for drug smuggling. 1400 kilos of cannabis resin became 1000 kilos in court.


length - 6 years because he wasn't the ringleader.



*busted being, 20 heavily armed coastguard with SBS training and apparently a very unpleasant experience for the smugglers.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 10:51, closed)

This reads like a shit Guy Ritchie film
Starring Danny Dyer
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 12:59, closed)

*Circles toe in the ground coquettishly*
You got me.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 2 Aug 2013, 13:02, closed)

Ritchie would never employ Dyer!
Maybe you should pitch to whoever did 'The Business'
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 13:11, closed)

Who was it who did that series about grifters?
I think they also did "Spooks" - I'll try them.
EDIT: Hustle
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 3 Aug 2013, 5:53, closed)

"This is a true story, it happened to a friend of a friend of mine."
So it didn't happen at all, except in your spherical little head.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 13:03, closed)

It's almost as if somebody had posted a genuine and pertinent story
and this friendless fuckrind was desperate to steal some attention back.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 13:28, closed)

Freaky Stories.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 2 Aug 2013, 23:15, closed)

Your mum's got a BIG BUST.
Just sayin
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 16:26, closed)

Fuck's sake mate, the poster below you experienced a late-stage miscarriage and nearly had his missus die on him.
Can't you step down and let someone else take centre stage for once?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 23:44, closed)

So, because Sweeplovesfisting experienced a horrible and trying time in his life
I shouldn't post the tale I have?

Your reasoning seems a bit flawed if not down-right fucked up.
Admittedly this story may not have the same pathos of some others but then I do have tales that I chose not to share with this community. Tales that may well have similar levels of pain and suffering - it's not a competition to see who's been hurt the most & if that's what you think then this site may not be the place for you.
Surely this post has as much right to be here as "alright" and some of those types of posts.

Anyhoo, if you don't like my posts, feel free to put me on ignore - then you'll never have to read them again let alone comment on them.
And thank you for getting the dander up enough to actually post something.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 3 Aug 2013, 5:47, closed)

you really are unpleasant.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 3 Aug 2013, 7:22, closed)

Where as you my dear
are a constant source of joy and happiness.

Can I congratulate you on another successful, positive post to /qotw.

Whilst you're talking about cock-sucking (in the post below) might I suggest that altho Dr. Shambolic is married and despite the fact that his wife and children clearly enjoy the fact that he spends so much time here (rather than with them) you clearly are chasing the Golden Snitch when it comes to being his besty.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 3 Aug 2013, 7:38, closed)

i think you might have suffered a stroke.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 3 Aug 2013, 19:28, closed)

You could at least have held back for more than 29 minutes, you attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain.
It's bad enough that you tried to take over his thread purely to have a go at Shambo for no reason. Get off the internet for a bit.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 3 Aug 2013, 9:04, closed)

Tell it like it is BD!
Go on. Let it all out.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 3 Aug 2013, 10:19, closed)

You're talking to him as if he isn't profoundly mentally ill.

(alright alright, Sat 3 Aug 2013, 13:53, closed)

And look at you - talking like someone who is sane and balanced and shit.
Alright!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 5:14, closed)

tl;dr
great trolling mate, great trolling
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 3 Aug 2013, 23:25, closed)

MM Imperial
MM pwns QOTW

Just as Michael Clarke bestrides Old Trafford, MM makes this board his. Not since the times of Hankey have we seen such domination. This board has degenerated recently, and proper good stories are very welcome. Keep up the excellent work.
(justin(e), Sat 3 Aug 2013, 5:16, closed)

Thank you... I think.
Clarkey may not be the best person to pin your hopes on tho.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 3 Aug 2013, 5:30, closed)

why don't you just suck his (tiny) cock while you're at it?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 3 Aug 2013, 7:21, closed)

When it comes to oral sex, our Ringo's a giver, not a taker.
HP and his masculine account can confirm this.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 3 Aug 2013, 23:29, closed)

Whilst "lol ur gay u r lol" is a fairly shit and unimaginative playground insult, it's by far your best effort to date. Ineffectual, of course, but hey - that's just you all over.

Go and make a drum noise or something, you witless waste of skin.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 4 Aug 2013, 0:26, closed)

alright Stewart Lee
PROTIP: Ringo's got a serious man-crush on you. Just look through his recent posts - that is, if you've not already done so and taken detailed notes.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 4 Aug 2013, 0:32, closed)

I've been in Pembroke for a bit, and the area has apparently been put on regional 2.0 by O₂, so I'm not entirely up to date with all the exciting internet drama going on - but I've just had a glance through the first couple of pages of Ringo's recent contributions, and nothing immediately leaps out as a namecheck.

Third result for you, though.

Make of that what you will.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 4 Aug 2013, 1:00, closed)

PROTIP: smyls
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 4 Aug 2013, 1:34, closed)

*Manhugs HP*
Oh. Sorry dude.

*Punches HP on the arm*
In a deep baritone - "Cheers, mate!"
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 4 Aug 2013, 6:11, closed)

Bonza!
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 4 Aug 2013, 17:26, closed)

If this isn't sarcasm then you're a truly tragic human being.

(alright alright, Sat 3 Aug 2013, 18:52, closed)