MASSIIIIVVVEEE DDRRRRRRUUUUUGGGSS
So I was on MASSIVE DRUGS - specifically Ecstasy.

I had been at a rather lovely drum n' bass night in a warehouse, that was quite literally only five minutes' walk away from where I was renting a rather grubby little room off a chap that was like an unpleasantly real but Tesco Value version of Frank Butcher.

So at about 6am I unlocked the door, made myself a cup of tea, and went into the living room, where I bloody nearly stacked it over a body on the floor.

"Holy shit sorry sorry sorry!" I apololgised, as he tried to avoid my flailing form stamping on his head to correct myself.

"No worries it's all cool" he said, turning on the light.

It was a pretty simple picture - he'd come to visit Frank, and had kipped on the living room floor - not turning on the light I'd stacked it over him. He appeared to be very much of my ilk, if a bit older - Primal Scream t-shirt, unshaven, buzz cut hair, general 90s hippie prick.

"Wow ... " he said, looking at me closely, "You look like you're off your face!"

"Yeah, well - er ... I am ... " I said, "Do you want a cup of tea?"

"Nice one" he said, "Cheers. So where have you been?"

"Oh ... 'round the corner - there's a drum n' bass night - I just thought I'd pop back for a brew instead of buying one there, 'cos it's a quid."

"Nice. E, is it?"

"Yeah. Clean, too - very nice."

"Yeah, man - that was me until a couple of years ago - bosh a couple of pills, then a few lines of Charlie on the way down - hardcore was my thing."

"Nice" I said, "I can go for a bit of hardcore, although it gets a bit silly quite quickly"

"Well the whole thing's quite silly" he said - I was warming to this guy, "I realised that when I met Jesus."

"Yeah I've met quite a few weirdos at these things" I empathized.

"No - I mean - actual Jesus. Our lord; Jesus. He saved me."

"Haha yeah - I know what you mean - there was one time I was on some pretty bad acid, and ... "

"You're not getting me" he interrupted, intensley, "Jesus saved me."

"OK ... " said I, backing away now ...

"He can save you - you need to let him into your heart ... "

I decided then that I thought I might go back and catch the last couple of hours of the night.

As an epilogue, the reason he was there was because Frank had cancer, and he was visiting to cure him. It came to pass that Frank ended up asking him to leave him while in hospital, because the guy had the habit of wandering up and down the ward, trying to convert the patients.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 9 May 2013, 16:43, 2 replies)

I like this
Non shed related too.
( rofl harris, Thu 9 May 2013, 16:50, closed)

Nice story but you really should have
let Him into your heart you know.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 9 May 2013, 16:55, closed)