And you are?

( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 14 May 2013, 16:57, 3 replies)

Don't worry, I can see.
You're a wannabe hipster who hilariously has a pipe!

And you travel by public transport a lot.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 14 May 2013, 16:58, closed)

perhaps i can have a lift on your scooter?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 14 May 2013, 17:04, closed)

He won't have sex with you :(

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Tue 14 May 2013, 17:08, closed)

SP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 May 2013, 17:09, closed)

a BIG fan obvs
make him a 'perfect espresso' to say thanks
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 14 May 2013, 16:59, closed)

Here - I found this for you.
bit.ly/12xEUJ6

And a free pack of kitkats too!
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 14 May 2013, 17:03, closed)

SP
Yea verily Mistress Meaker, tis but a tiny Claypole!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 May 2013, 17:08, closed)

I have got an espresso machine thank you
and nestle kill babys
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 14 May 2013, 17:14, closed)

Yeah. But your espresso machine exists in the Real World so it doesn't count.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 14 May 2013, 17:20, closed)

It's back!
That weird incessant buzzing sound. Can anyone else hear it?
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 14 May 2013, 17:22, closed)

I have you on ignore.
If you're logging in and out to listen to an annoying buzzing then you should probably see a doctor. I'm sure an expensive Harley Street chap will be happy to come around to one of your extensive (but strangely uncountable) properties and have a cup of coffee from your soon-to-be-released espresso machine. Unless they decide to make a few quid giving lifts to people on the way.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 14 May 2013, 17:25, closed)

I can still hear it.
I think you've evolved and permeated the internet in some way, which isn't surprising the amount of time you spend on it.

Your response rates are incredible though - seemingly never less than 2mins from my posts to your asinine responses.

Godlike in your dominance. I bow down to you.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 14 May 2013, 17:29, closed)

You're forgetting about his incomparable hacking skills.
Ignore won't work on him. Remember how he hacked all those underage girls' hotmail and got nude photos off every single one of them?
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 14 May 2013, 17:33, closed)

What, this you mean?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:08, closed)

It still reads well, nearly 4yrs on.

( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:32, closed)

The Morissettes are strong with this one.
I must say I'm quite enjoying your increasingly frantic attempts to pretend to actually ignore the people you have on ignore.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 14 May 2013, 22:23, closed)

It's the sound
somebody encroaching on your fantasy world trying to break through. Like the phone calls in Life on Mars
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 14 May 2013, 17:25, closed)

I quite like the fact that his lies aren't in any way impressive
Refusing to have a drink with a posh blonde and spending that much money on an espresso machine would make you a bit of a prick, really.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Tue 14 May 2013, 17:31, closed)

Yeah.
Quite wrong not to take advantage of an obviously distressed suicide bomb survivor and to want decent coffee.

Quite wrong indeed.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 14 May 2013, 17:41, closed)

Oh Albert :(
None it of is true. It's OK.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:15, closed)

I honestly can't tell if he thinks people believe him or not.
That would be like a meta-delusion.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 14 May 2013, 18:52, closed)

It gets too angry to be a troll

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:17, closed)

It's The Doveston, you prick

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Tue 14 May 2013, 17:19, closed)