Explodey firework death
A few years back I went up to Primrose Hill with a bunch of friends to watch the fireworks. I was sitting on the grass with my girlfriend on my right, some girls to the left of me and beyond them was the path up the hill, on the other side of which were some more revellers who were letting off rockets and whatnot. I became aware of some sort of commotion to my left, with people shouting and a loud fizzing noise. I turned to my right to find that my missus had disappeared. I turned back to my left to find that the other girls had disappeared and realised that I was now sitting directly in the path of a rocket that had tipped over. Remembering what I was told as an army cadet, I dropped to my right so the heavy soles of my boots were facing the danger and pulled my leather coat over my head. I don't remember much about what happened next, just a series of loud bangs and flashes, but thankfully the gods of third-degree burns were smiling on me and I escaped unscathed. It did give me the opportunity to find out what my last words would be when faced with an imminent explosion, though.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 21 May 2014, 13:33, 13 replies)

Giant teabags

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 21 May 2014, 14:50, closed)

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 21 May 2014, 15:37, closed)

Sexy as fuck

(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Wed 21 May 2014, 16:01, closed)

you can see why he's considered such a catch in the colouring in community

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 21 May 2014, 20:07, closed)

Or "b3ta", as it's generally known

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 21 May 2014, 20:24, closed)

Touch my pink crayon

(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:36, closed)

That's not a knife...

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 21 May 2014, 16:05, closed)

When a God of Third Degree Burns starts smiling at you...
you're gonna have a bad time.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 21 May 2014, 16:23, closed)

You
can't get killed from a cornershop firework going off near you.
You pathetic retard.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 21 May 2014, 21:34, closed)

not if you're wearing your +4 leatherette Neo coat of ultimate nerdchic

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:14, closed)

www.cheltenham.gov.uk/info/200040/environmental_health/962/firework_safety/4
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 22 May 2014, 11:15, closed)

So you're about 10 times more likely to be killed by lightning.
Shit. I better put on my wizard coat and hat.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:46, closed)

'S ok The LOVELY Doc Ess, you don't need to be jealous that I found a link faster than you.
;p
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 22 May 2014, 12:10, closed)