my beautiful neighbourhood
Christ where do I start. Down the road there’s a bloke who I see every morning, only in the morning though. At night he slips out under cover of darkness and presumably also under a lacy slip. He’s a very obvious tranny.

Back up the road the mad bloke has gone a bit quiet – reason? Well he assured everyone for years he was Saddam Hussein – went a bit quiet after the trial and subsequent hanging though.

But it gets worse, further along the road there’s a bunch of chavs that surely must be on housing benefit – never the less every other week some gorilla in an ASDA suit carries out their telly – why don’t they just use the fucking rent cheques to pay the bloody rent?

Further along is a flat that is usually quite quiet – mainly because the family are always doing time.

I can’t understand why we get all this – it’s a nice neighbourhood.

But that’s not all, two doors down from me there’s a big queer bloke the size of a tree. Nasty fucker and far too very handy with his fists, particularly for someone so limpwristed - he’s like a big camp boxer.

At the top of the road resides the local god botherer. Bit of a scandal recently - his last wife died in mysterious circumstances so eyebrows were raised somewhat when; quick as you like his new young wife moves in. For a man of the cloth he’s quite a goer it would seem. She seems to have suddenly disappeared too though. Rumour has it he’s bumped her off.

You wouldn’t think anyone would want to live here. I can’t think why I do, but they have just recently condemned the place, clear the scum sort of New Deal. Well they can fuck off. They can bring the wrecking balls and we’ll still be here. They’ll have to take us out in boxes.

It’s a beautiful in its own quirky way but I still can’t quite understand why anyone would want to live a neighbourhood like this.
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 1:36, 12 replies)

they made a documentary about it a while back...
here
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 1:43, closed)

Good effort
But bindun, I'm afraid: www.b3ta.com/questions/neighbours/post531384
( The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 1:43, closed)

to be fair
i piss all over that

but then i'm from a rough neighbourhood
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 1:48, closed)

Well...
Yours does include the whole demoliton bit, so you do get extra points for that. I also like your length.
( The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 2:11, closed)

s'funny
mrs spimf reckons its the girth
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 2:34, closed)

What makes you think we're so different?
Put it this way: Have you ever seen "her" and "me" in the same photograph?
( The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 2:56, closed)

erm,,,,
*runs away*
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 3:02, closed)

But...
Where are you going, dear?
( The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Sat 3 Oct 2009, 1:33, closed)

Nah, you weren't subtle enough.
Kudos on including the last verse though, and I plain forgot about the 110 lot.
( Raindance Work is inversely proportional to post-count, Sat 3 Oct 2009, 19:21, closed)

Sorry Spimfy
Never heard of the song, no idea what you're on about.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 3:43, closed)

my dear child the link is in my reply
heres another - just stab your delightful little paw here: kittybutton
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 12:34, closed)

Damn you.
I was reading this thinking it seemed familiar but it didn't click.
(Pope Jamiroquai III, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 3:57, closed)