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This is a question Neighbours

I used to live next door to a pair of elderly naturists, only finding out about their hobby when they bade me a cheerful, saggy 'Hello' while I was 25 feet up a ladder repairing the chimney. Luckily, a bush broke my fall, but the memory of a fat, naked man in an ill-fitting wig will live with me forever.

(, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:41)
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My neighbour testified against me in court.
I grew up in a council estate in Bedford, so there was a fair share of scroungers, doleys, pikeys, mongs, skets and pushers between whom there were little pockets of normal people trying to get along. My gay best friend and I used to get terrorised by these barely-qualifying-as-underclass cockends. There was what can be roughly described as a girl living three doors from me. She may as well have been living in my airing cupboard for the visibilty her and her lardy family had on the street. Her dad fuxed cars illegally in the street and her brother was a greasy dullard who punched girls he fancied. Nicola Cells herself (name and shamed to expose the guilty) was a blubber-bellied, trout-faced dirty blonde who smelt of chip fat and HATED me. She testified against me in court when a ginger tartlet beat me up with a group of girls in tow and stole my mobile phone, the day before my A2 exams. Yes, they got away with it all.

My mantra at the time was always, "these girls are losing at life. Soon you will be out of here and they will be of no more concern". I was right- I now live in London, have a degree and prospects while she has two children and pregnant with the third (did I mention she is 20?). Quite rightly, you are probably thinking- why still so angry about this?

Well, you see- though she is no more than a diarrhea stain on my memory, I evidently still enrage her. By a terrible stroke of luck, she has been rehoused in another council estate, and is now living next to my best friend, a wonderful single mum who works harder and is more naturally intelligent than anyone I have ever met. She thought of a wonderful plan to get back at me, and has admitted as much.

Having an affair with my best friends partner. Who is the father of her second child. Which makes me want to scream expletives 'till I run out of breath.
(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 14:50, 16 replies)
I hate to point it out to you...
but if the idea is that, by having an affair with your friend's partner, she's somehow having a go at you, and if you both believe that this makes sense, they neither of you seems too bright.
(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:02, closed)
That is really quite rude.
Do you think that I would jump to that kind of conclusion myself? I'm a fan of logic and deduction; NOT mindless blaming and fingerpointing. If you read the story, she said as much to my friend. Something along the lines of "maybe you and that fucking slag will learn not mess with us". I had previously reported her brother for sexual abuse, the family are pretty big in the area and there is a wall of silence surrounding them in reguards to the police.

You have really annoyed me as I enjoyed reading your posts. I don't know where you grew up but maybe this kind of narrow minded hatefullness is not what you are used to.
(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:09, closed)
I also quite enjoy the fact that a bioethicist can find the time and inclination to call strangers on the internet stupid.
You are intelligent enough to write really funny stories and for that I commend you, but why shit on me from a great height?
(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:12, closed)
I don't see what my profession has to do with anything...
(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:22, closed)
OK - let me rephrase things a touch.
I don't understand why she thought that she was getting at you, nor why you seem to have taken it on board that she was. The clear impression in the OP was that that was how you were both thinking. Your gloss here makes me even more puzzled, because now there's an extra link in the chain - one more person who takes seriously something I find utterly baffling.

I'm really not having a go at you - honestly. (Your grammar is pretty good; that always makes me well-disposed to a person...) And thank you for the nice comment about my posts.

*offers conciliation*
(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:22, closed)
This doesn't make sense, I am aware of that.
To anyone who spends most of their time around more sensible, balanced people and not in an environment where hard crime, unemployment and drugs are rife may see this stories as baffling and laughable. Unemployment leaves people alot of time to think and brood on situations most people simply dont have time to keep thinking about.

The thing is, I put the story on here as an example of a neighbour I had trouble with. The amusing part was supposed the be the sheer idiocy of her trying to make a point by sleeping with someone. If it made complete sense and was a measured and calm response to a childhood rivalry it would make a shit story. I have written a completely true story, unlike many people on this site.

Who is the extra link in the chain?
(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:36, closed)
Weirdo - your friend - you.
Or I could have missed something important. Dunno.
(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:58, closed)
There is no link
Just idiocy. I'll accept the reconciliation, perhaps you may enjoy another QOTW answer I post a bit more than this one, and I'll go on enjoying yours, though maybe not quite as much as I did :)
(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:07, closed)
Sounds more like...
The wench decided this was a good way to "get back at 'er" for some odd reason, then fucked up her best friend's life.

I'd be slightly pissed if someone that monumentally thick messed with a friend in some smacktarded revenge scheme.

Still, that chap can't have been much of a catch..? Might have done your friend a favour by killing the relationship before they had children together.
(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:13, closed)
So true!
Though maybe I didn't explain properly - they do have a child together. As well as Nicola now being pregnant. This is why it angers me so much. There is real human life being involved here, and she is using the excuse of an ancient retribution. She has evil running through her like a stick of rock.
(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:27, closed)

(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:44, closed)
'Having an affair with my best friend's partner'
So he had no choice in the matter?
(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 17:29, closed)
but her vag is like a portuegese man'o'war, in his defense. They sight of it probably left him stunned and helpless.
(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 18:08, closed)
Public indecency
Is fuxing cars in the street not liable to deprave and corrupt the local youth? OK, so that's probably nappy-wearers, in context, but all the same ...
(, Tue 6 Oct 2009, 20:47, closed)
So, the best friend's partner - is he also of the Jeremy Kyle variety?
If not, how come he's dipping his wick in common? This woman must have something attractive about her.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 13:55, closed)
If your best friend is so smart,
why is she a single mum living on a council estate?
Also, the girl you slag off has 3 kids by 20, which you see as bad, yet your friend has 2 and thats a good thing?
You sound like a very immature little girl yourself.
You are the one that can't let go, or you wouldn't be writing about it here.
Also, your friends partner must think the one you hate is better than your friend as he preferred her.
There are 2 sides to every story and I don't think your side is as true as you'd like to make it out.
Grow up and go away little girl.
(, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 12:57, closed)

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