Him downstairs (or, "that little fucking dirty cunt", as I have been known to call him)
Apologies in advance, this is going to be long. You might want to get a cup of tea or something...

My girlfriend Jessie and I rent the top floor (and loft) of a three-story house which has been converted into three flats. When we moved in we were the only tenants, and it stayed that way for quite a while.

Then after a few months a young couple moved into the flat underneath us - they were ace: hardly ever made any noise, were friendly, and liked a smoke in the evening so the porch used to smell of weed all the time - I like the smell of weed, so it's all good.

Then they moved out, and the flat was empty again. Not too long after that we got a letter from our landlord saying that the managing agents of the flat would be changing from Scargill Mann (an estate agent in town) to DHA - Derbyshire Housing Aid. My first comment when I read the letter was something along the lines of "I hope that doesn't mean we're going to get some chav scumbag moving in".

Sadly, it meant exactly that. We now have a young lad called Aaron living there, who is the archetypal chav dosser. Him and his mates are in and out of the place at all hours of the day and night, playing music, slamming doors and shouting. One of his mates has got a motorbike so the other morning - a Saturday, of course, and my first lie-in for about 10 days - I was woken at 8 by them apparently taking it in turns to start the bike and rev the bollocks off it. Yay.

Back in the summer our post started going missing - we phoned the DHA to say we wanted a locking post box so that our mail wasn't sitting in the porch when we were out, to which the reply was "Aaron's nicking it isn't he?". Jessie said she wasn't sure it was definitely him and was told "Oh come on. You know and I know it's Aaron or one of his mates". (We're still waiting for the box, btw - that's irrelevant to this qotw though!).

Oh, I haven't mentioned his dog - he's got a huge Alsation which isn't fully grown yet and that he can't control. If he goes out and leaves it at home it barks constantly until he returns. We've phoned the RSPCA twice now, once when he left the dog there for a whole weekend and once when it was just for the day. As well as the incessant barking (and I'm not exaggerating, he just never stops until Aaron gets back) the dog was banging into doors and sounding fretful...

Several times I've come home to notes pinned on my door asking to borrow money; he's also knocked in the evenings and asked to borrow money, borrow tools, or once trying to sell me a PS2 (which I bought actually). The following night he came round asking if I wanted to buy another one or an Xbox.

Finally, DHA evicted him - yay! But the council intervened and protested, as it was in breach of his rights. Apparently the fact that he'd destroyed the flat, not paid his rent, pulled the curtains down, and that the cleaner* hadn't been able to get into the flat due to being scared of the dog, that he'd been complained about by both of his neighbours and not attended any meetings with his DHA support-type person didn't count, but the fact that DHA hadn't given him six weeks notice did.

The flat was empty for a while with signs in the windows about the eviction and illegality of it... but now he's back, with the addition of a tag since he's been to court in the time he was elsewhere. The noise isn't quite as bad this time, and the post hasn't gone missing (yet), but the porch now smells - well, stinks of unwashed dog and piss, rather than weed, and the police were round the other night arresting his mate. Oh, and the mate with the motorbike keeps parking it right across the front door, even though there's room for 5 cars outside the house and only 2 spaces are occupied.

Yay for do-gooders, eh?



* - yes, his cleaner. Apparently, although we pay our full rent every month and he only pays some nominal amount, he gets someone to come round and clean the flat for him every week. I'm seriously thinking about phoning DHA and asking them why our cleaner hasn't been in touch.
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 19:12, 21 replies)

And if you made it all the way to the end...
...here's your cup of tea:


(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 19:14, closed)

I am one of the council workers
that tries to help people like him.

It's wearing. Can I apologise on behalf of all of us?

And thanks for the tea.
(floella, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 19:33, closed)

No need to apologise, it's not your fault
The system is incredibly flawed from so many angles.

The society that raises people like him, the environment that protects the wrong things in a flawed sense of doing right.
The people who just want to help both those caught in that loop and those who are affected by it...but can't because of the previously mentioned.

Respect to you for still being there trying to be part of the solution :)

I'm caught in a similarly hopeless kind of environment with my job as a support worker with learning disabilities and I just want out (though not exclusively because of the job itself it has to be said!). I did almost get a role with the parole service a few months back, and decided against another working with yoofs that dint get the right start in life, innit, but a short time living above Aaron has slammed it home that it wouldn't have been a good direction for me.
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 19:46, closed)

What a...
...lovely thing to say. Thanks : )

I get very opinionated about such things and it rarely ends well. So I'll stop now.

But nuff respec' to you also. That's not an easy job you've got there. And I bet people say "But it must be so REWARDING"... And I bet it can be. But quite often it's just Not Quite Enough.
(floella, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 22:08, closed)

I feel for you mate
The chav-scum I've had the misfortune to live close to have been very mild in comparison, but still teeth gnashing all the same.

Here's hoping he never spawns.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Sun 4 Oct 2009, 19:38, closed)

God, what a terrifying thought O_o

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 21:26, closed)

you have my sympathies
i know what you're going through. my nightmare neighbour was, if anything, even worse. it took 8 months to get rid of him and i almost had a nervous breakdown, but the sense of peace and serenity when he'd gone was unlike anything i'd ever felt.
if you're wondering what my neighbour was like, check the top post on page 2.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 21:33, closed)

this PS2...
did it come boxed?

...or in a poly bag with minumum cables, no literature and a handful of dog-eared games? i cant understand the attitude of people who deride pikey chav scum for ransacking peoples homes then buy what has obviously been ripped out of someones living room half an hour previously

or maybe he bought it with the credit card he got courtesy of your stolen mail/identity
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 21:52, closed)

there's a one-legged smackhead around these parts
who knocks on people's doors, trying to sell them damaged crap that he has obviously just stolen from the charity shop around the corner.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 21:55, closed)

one-legged?
does he do pirate videos
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 22:01, closed)

oof!
no, but he stole my mate's dvd player, forgot where he'd nicked it from and tried to sell it back to her!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 22:04, closed)

if people refused to buy stolen goods
scum would be forced to stop stealing them

if we just handed the drugs out to them it would save a fortune in shoplifiting, burglaries, car theft, and muggings - all of which we end up paying for one way or another

organised crime would lose its grip over millions of people

billions would be saved in police, court, legal and prison costs every year - money that could be spent schools hospitals and care for the elderly

but we shrug and say - a PS2 for 30 quid - fuck yeah!
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 22:14, closed)

i'd like to just give them the drugs
preferably considerably more than their bodies can tolerate
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 22:19, closed)

well i can understand that attitude
but in my experience most junkies are sad people that need help, whatever way you look at it - no one would choose to end up and that state. some also happen to be cunts into the bargain. it's not my position to judge and in the main i dont give a fuck untill they steal from me.

but if as a society we got wise, took the scenario out of the hands of criminals we would save ourselves a lot of time money and grief and in doing so remove most of the lame excuses our police juciciary and government rely upon

but so long as we have press an politicians whipping an ill informed public into a frenzy that 'the war on drugs' can somehow be won - then it's business as usual

*gets off soapbox*
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 22:34, closed)

the only ones i know are cunts
i did know a fairly decent one, he was trying to get off the stuff. unfortunately, after serving a six-monther, he decided to celebrate and died of an overdose.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 23:20, closed)

just this...
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8255418.stm
(floella, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 22:22, closed)

It was almost definitely stolen, I'm afraid...
In my defence, at the time of buying it he'd only just moved in downstairs and just seemed a bit thick (he knocked on our door one day not long after he'd moved in and asked which flat number was his). I thought he was selling his own console because he was skint - I actually am naive enough to have believed at the time that I was doing something good for someone.

Well, obviously I was - but the thought that it had been stolen didn't even cross my mind at the time :/
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 22:22, closed)

i'd get some credit checks done
he was stealing your mail for a reason and it wasn't that tenner from your granny on your birthday he was after

his postcode would have beeen exactly the same as yours yet he had a legitimate address of his own as soon as he had a couple of utility bills of yours and some limited know how then he could have all manner of credit cards and loans in your name. you wont know untill you get refused credit. he may well be thick as shit but these little cunts talk to each other - usually while they're inside
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 22:41, closed)

I do actually think that he's stupid enough to not have even thought of that...
The only things that we noticed had gone missing were a DVD, a birthday card with some money in it and a CD. He even opened one of Jessie's parcels once, saw it was an old book and tried to reseal the jiffy bag and leave it for her to find.

He was definitely targetting the stuff that looked like it had exciting new toys in it; the official looking letters were never touched. Most of my bank stuff is online anyway, so I wasn't too worried about that, but we did both register with Experian and check ourselves out - so far so good.

It's still fucking annoying though - especially when we've been promised a locking postbox and nothing's happened about it for months and months O_o
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 6 Oct 2009, 9:18, closed)

What that lad needs
is a introduction to my Honda Accord.
(knackerz is skinning up, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 2:06, closed)

Some revenge suggestions iof you want to take it that far.
1) When he leaves his dog locked in the flat, try pushing some raw meat mixed with lacative and sedative through the door. If the dog gets to it then it should sleep then crap everywhere.

2) Moped. Find 2 small pieces of gravel, unscrew the tire caps and place 1 piece in each, do the cpas up and wait for the hiss.
( Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 9:38, closed)