Nearly a year ago, now
My Father-in-Law rang me at work, and asked me if I could drive with him to Gatwick, where he was to meet a client. He wanted me to drive his car back to Brighton, because he would be a while. No problem, thinks I.
I meet him, and my wife is in the car. She doesn't work, and so she would sometimes spend the day with her dad, driving around. No problem, thinks I.
We get to Gatwick, and I go to get in the driver's seat. Before I can, my wife is out of the back seat, and is standing infront of me. She is holding my passport in her hand. 'Here, you'll need this,' she says.
Oh, shit, thinks I. She's sending me back to my native Canada. She's had enough of me.
'We're going to Spain for a week! Happy Birthday!' She exclaims, with a huge smile.
'You wot?" says I, utterly confused.
'Dad bought us a holiday. Our flight leaves in a few hours. I've already packed us. Let's go!' Her father is standing there, with a big grin. I'm completely in shock, but I remember protocol and shake his hand, then we toddle off to Spain.
He had arranged my time off work (he was my boss at the time) without me knowing, he had booked and paid for the hotel and everything - even some spending money!
I was in complete shock. At 9am that morning, I was slaving away as normal, and that very evening I was drinking white wine on the beach with my lurvely wife. What a gift! Truly, one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.

Now, enter the dilemma.

When he did that, he was in the property developing business. He is now pretty much jobless and penniless. He is desperately trying to sort out his wife, who had just retired, with a mind to spending a few months in Egypt. She has packed, has the car booked and everything, and has left the payments up to her husband. Who has no money.
He asked my wife this morning if we would lend him the money to pay for mum-in-law's flight.
Should I, or shouldn't I? He and I have pretty much reconciled from our previous differences, but he's a real sneak with money. I'll probably never see it back. Should I repay his kindness, with a family loan?
(w4I4q1O1 was hard at work on, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 17:01, 20 replies)

This isn't a dilemma.
It's just a tricky question.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 17:04, closed)

karma says yes

( rofl harris, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 17:06, closed)

How
did you know I was going to say that?!?!?!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:36, closed)

Sorry, but I think
it's a shame you should think of this as a dilemma. If you have the cash, yes, the flight's not going to be as much as the holiday he paid for and if you don't get the cash back - so what ?

He "spread the wealth" to start with - do the right thing and pay it back
( I_Was_Mordred, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 17:06, closed)

I say yes
Give him the money if you can afford it

If you don't see it again it won't matter you'd have done the right thing
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 17:12, closed)

Imagine how awkward life will be if you don't
and once property is back on it's feet you might one day need a favour in return.

Plus your wife will probably make it hell/worth your while if you don't/do!
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 17:12, closed)

To be honest
I think a lot depends on whether you can easily afford it or not. If you can, then you might as well in the interests of family harmony. If you'd miss the money, then you might want to ask whether he could go on holiday for a few weeks rather than a few months and pay for the bloody flight himself.

But then, I'm terribly stingy.
(richardm, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 17:13, closed)

You know,
I agree with each of you. It's not a fortune, and if we can help, we should.
Thanks, B3tans, you are teh fluffeh!

*goes to ring father-in-law*
*gives communal giant hug to B3ta*
(w4I4q1O1 was hard at work on, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 17:18, closed)

Yay!
B3ta is putting the world to rights, one issue at a time!
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 17:21, closed)

Hurrah !
for this QoTW. Makes me feel warm inside.
( I_Was_Mordred, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 17:34, closed)

If he's pretty much broke,
why is he sending his wife on a holiday? To keep up the pretense that everything is fine?

I hate to sound like the lone jerk in the comments, but perhaps now isn't the time for holidays that they can't afford.

Just my $0.02
(Ejaculantern was caught desecrating pumpkins on, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 17:46, closed)

He's sending her away
Because she has worked really hard for many years, without any time off (she's a midwife), and she wants this more than anything. As a married man, I know that sometimes we husbands do things for our better halves that we know we can't afford to do. He just wants her to be happy.
And from what I understand, he was just paying for flights and transfers, she has paid for the hotel and everything else.
(w4I4q1O1 was hard at work on, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 18:00, closed)

W
If you hand over the money assuming you'll never get it back, you'll be reconciled to that and it won't cause you further grief.
It was a nice thing he did and a nice thing you've done in return.
*clicks*
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 18:57, closed)

Don't do family loans.
Give him the money as a present.
(Maccy Divided by 0 on, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 19:01, closed)

hmmm
the fact that you even have to think about it instantly disqualifies you from this qotw, you should just do it without a moments hesitation
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 20:40, closed)

Aye.
I had to read this several times to try and work out at what point the father-in-law had done something since the gifted holiday that meant that returning the favour was in any way a dilemma.
(vicarius, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 20:47, closed)

He is a Bastard
with money, he's weaseled a lot of money out of our savings, and is responsible for a big chunk of our debt. I personally didn't have much problem with gifting the money, but the missus gets so angry with him because he is so financially irresponsible. Hence the dilemma.
(w4I4q1O1 was hard at work on, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 9:18, closed)

Ah, now I get it
But you didn't say that in your answer, you see! You just wrote that he did this brilliant thing for you, then said "shall I pay for his wife's flight or not?" and, quite frankly, you came off a bit mean.

Edit your answer to show WHY there is a dilemma!! Cos the phrase about "i'll prob never see it back" just makes you think "good lord man, you never paid him for YOUR holiday!!"

I should be an editor. I am far too picky for my own good.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:22, closed)

'sokay.
I am my own worst editor; I don't want to give too much information. The story of the relationship between my my inlaws and I would be several pages of whinging that frankly *I* don't even want to hear.
(w4I4q1O1 was hard at work on, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:49, closed)

Give him the money
You'll feel as lovely as he did when he got you the holiday, and it's notreally for him but for his lovely wife!
(Bezmina, Mon 6 Oct 2008, 12:55, closed)