live sex show
when we were about 14, the only nightclubs in stockport were moonshine (later luckys) and cocos (later volts). anyone else from around there can confirm that they sucked. hard. but they were the only options in town. and if we put on enough makeup and the bouncers weren't looking too closely, we could usually get in.

so one saturday night, my friend evie and i were giving it some on the dancefloor, when the dj announced that a live sexshow was about to begin on the stage. being 14, bursting with hormones and curiosity, evie and i fought and shoved our way to the stage through a throng of sweaty, lardy blokes. eventually, our persistence paid off, and we found ourselves right at the front, pinned against the stage by the heaving mess behind us. we grinned at each other as the curtain was heaved up.

only to find ourselves watching two grubby middle aged stockport slappers writhing around on the stage rubbing their greying knickers and bras against each other. it was about as erotic as a tax return, but we couldn't get away from it because the crowd was too dense.

although not as dense as we felt sloping back to our friends at the bar after the "show" was over...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 21:40, 8 replies)

Good grief!
*horns*
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 23:27, closed)

Clicks
"as erotic as a tax return"

To be used later
( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 8:07, closed)

You should see the sexy new tax returns
they have to deal with variable rate capital allowances, the saucy little minxes...phwoar!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 10:12, closed)

I love it when you talk really dirty to me

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 18:28, closed)

I used to work
in a Stockport club.
Masters.
Fucking cattle market.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 11:51, closed)

Not forgetting...
the shithole formerly known as Monroes...
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:28, closed)

bleurgh
i forgot about masters and munroes! argh, the pain.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 18:28, closed)

Oh those were indeed the days.
*Stockport fives*
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 11 Apr 2009, 15:00, closed)