Pint o' piss
Anyone who's ever been to Southampton in any sort of student capacity probably knows about the yawning, cavernous hole that is Jesters. On a Wednesday, it was Rugger Bugger night and it was indeed a rare evening if there wasn't a forward prop, or somesuch, dancing naked on a table with a gaggle of hockey girls around him. Apart from this, it had a certain, medieval charm in its low ceilings and dank, dripping walls. Above Jesters was it's bar 'Clowns' and for a short period of the night, the two were simultaneously open. I remember being vaguely horrified (although not surprised) to see the toilets in Clowns were backed up like the queue for a boat at Dunkirk. As such, a trickle of soupy filth was dribbling out of the bowl onto the floor, where it seemed to magically disappear.
Anyhoo, later on in the Jesters, downstairs, I see a very, very inebriated sporty-type stagger over to a fruit machine and place his pint on top of it while he deciding to be sick or not. The top of his pint was rippling, much akin to the bit in Jurassic Park when the T-rex puts in a toothy appearance. Looking up, I could see a drip of yellowish water, like a wet, yellow paratrooper who's got it all wrong, freefall in the chaps pint. It dawned on me that the source of this well was indeed the toilets directly above.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 9 Apr 2009, 22:23, 6 replies)

YAAAY
Yay Jesters!

I have spent many many hours there in my life, but not so many pounds, as it is so cheap you could die of alcohol poisoning before your money runs out. Good times.

I love Jesters. But I never had sex in the Jesters toilets, something I knew a lot of people did.
(Clarabelle is reverting to type on, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 23:46, closed)

Dear God...
...the joy that was Festers. I remember one night where the urinal in Clowns had backed up so badly that all you could do was stand at the door and piss into the room, (wading through the 10 inch deep puddle of piss did not seem like a good idea).
(Falco, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 0:55, closed)

aha!
Clowns used to do a quadruple vodka and orange juice for £1.50 before 7:30pm. Happy days

In Jesters one night I stood at the bar and watched a piece of the ceiling fall into the pint that was being poured.

The barman casually hooked it out with his fingers and carried on pouring.

I miss that place
(SarcasticBarSteward wants to be good at Photoshop when he grows up, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 10:53, closed)

Hah!
My old housemate used to work the bar there. She came home one night saying 'Someone asked for four vodkas in the same glass. I just can't understand why he didn't ask for a quad vod...'
This is one of the many reasons we didn't like her...
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 10 Apr 2009, 16:54, closed)

Yeah the ceiling falling in the drinks
sounds about right.

Quad vodka and coke was my university downfall.

I got together with my ex in Jesters. I was very disappointed when the sorted the floor out and gave it proper lights and everything, it took some of the mingness out of it.
(Clarabelle is reverting to type on, Sun 12 Apr 2009, 17:48, closed)

Colonel...
Thank you for reminding me of what I'm (not) missing out on at that place. I'm in my fourth year at Southampton, and I've been there fewer than ten times I reckon.

The thing that put me off most was in first year when a medic friend of mine says: 'You have to go to Jesters, it's amazing. Look at this!' and he proceeded to show me four angry red scratches on his arm from the previous evening.
(stiglfc And the big wheel keep on turnin', Thu 16 Apr 2009, 1:26, closed)