After a night out
I was standing in the bus station waiting for my night bus. However, where it is meant to stop, there was one of the other night buses in its place.

I stood there kicking my shoes watching for my bus to pull out of the depot when I glance up and notice a really smoking-hot girl sitting on the other bus. Our eyes met and she smiled. I smiled back. 'Corr', thought I. I looked up for my bus and then looked back. She was still looking and smiling, but now her eyes kept glancing down to my groin. She kept smiling looking up at me and looking down at my groin. A complete stranger taking great interest in my groin was making my nether-regions warm. She was still smiling and paying great attention and looking down, and I was getting quite a lob on at the thought of it. Then she seemed to gasp and grinned. Had she seen my rather proud bulge or something?

But then I felt a draft. I always go commando when I wear my best slacks, it's just comfier ok? I felt a draft and then I tensed. I've been standing here with my flies undone and that's what she's found amusing. Arse! I felt shame, shock, anger and yet found it rather amusing.

I reached down to check. Yes my flies were undone. For fuck's sake.


But it was worse than that.

My tumescence had wormed its way out of the opening of my trousers and Little Sandettie was standing to attention for all to see. I put it away rather hastily, zipped up and ran away to catch my bus further down the route.


Actually, this never happened. I ripped it off from a copy of FHM from about 10 years ago. I think tit for tat is the correct term.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 21:42, 8 replies)

Someone on here once posted the story about taking a shit while the person in the next cubicle is on the phone.
That was straight outta FHM as well.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 21:51, closed)

ah, but
which came first? Also did they take all the credit, or credit FHM? Christ, I'm too god-damn honest for my own good!

Edit: I just clicked on to your profile and noticed you like Fiona Bruce. :)

And then I read that first story. I was welling up by the end.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 21:56, closed)

They didn't credit FHM, I pulled them up on it.
And everybody likes Fiona Bruce, amirite?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 22:24, closed)

yes
and she has eyebrows like a Triumph Herald.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 0:13, closed)

mmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmnnn triumph herald
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 0:24, closed)

...
She's ruined Antiques Road show...
(TheManofScience, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 9:42, closed)

So did
the death of Arthur Negas.

and his co-host, Gilbert Windsor-Royal-Gaslight-Company
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 10:58, closed)

A friend of mine used to make up stories and send them into FHM about 10 years ago
He did quite well out of them for free booze
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 12:12, closed)