Too hairy for own good
I must have been about 20 or so and was impressed by a mate's ability to light his own farts. I must have been in my youth as this no longer impresses me, finding a savings account with a good return is now more my pace, anyway I digress.

I thought I would try to light own fart when returned home, even took on some fuel, a kebab. As one was brewing I prepared myself for my new talent. I thought if I was going to do this properly then trousers and pants must be removed.

So I perched on the side of my armchair, pants round ankles and leaned forward to get a good look. My fart was so fierce that it set light to my arse hair, which itself was so long that it was still alight when it floated up and hit me in the face.......and then proceeded to set my right eyebrow alight.

So running around room smacking myself in the face with a burnt arsehole then falling flat on said face due to trousers round ankles.

I was no longer impressed with such an activity.
(CaptainSpunker, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 11:57, 6 replies)

Hang on
Your arsehair is so long it can reach from your arse to your eyebrows? Are you a wookie?
(Smale is stuffed, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 12:26, closed)

He is Richard Keys AICMFP
Although the image of you trying to put the fire out on your eyebrows with Uranus is a funny one.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 13:37, closed)

The physics of it all
The flame burnt the arsehair at the skin end and then the hiar floated up whilst alight, think of a shitty chinese lantern!!!
(CaptainSpunker, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:38, closed)

My brother did this whilst wearing the old Adidas shell suit trousers (the ones with ADIDAS in huge blue writing, down the one leg). They're pretty flamable as my brother found out...and smacking a flame out when your alight in that area isn't recommended either.
(Pectacular Almost spectacular...but somethings missing!, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 13:09, closed)

Why..
... would you want to smack yourself with a burnt arsehole?

*click*
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 15:57, closed)

Settting fire to your face while lighting your arse?
You sir, are a GOD.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 2:21, closed)