Being a typically middle class family
... one weekend my sister came home from university completely skint, in search of a loan off my father.

She and I had chatted about it on the Friday evening, and on the Saturday morning she was quite the professional, made a nice cup of tea, and sat dad down in the kitchen to ask him formally if she could borrow the money, prepared to take the blame for how the situation arose, amend her ways, and work out a payment plan to return the cash.

My father is a kindly man, and of course did not want to see his daughter in financial trouble - sure she's been an idiot - what student in their early 20s isn't? But it wasn't a request anywhere beyond his reach, and it was an opportunity for her to learn a valuable lesson in life.

My step-mother, however, saw it rather differently.

"YOU need money?!" she suddenly screamed, "YOU need money?! I haven't had enough to buy any clothes for months!"

And with this, started stripping.

To her bra and knickers.

All the while, chanting "CLOTHES! CLOTHES!"

In this state she then ran out of the house, through the village, through two neighbouring villages, and into the nearby town, where she was finaly picked up by the police, and returned home, much to the delight of all our neighbours.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:27, 15 replies)

As amusing as your breakdown is,
perhaps you should seek help elsewhere?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:40, closed)

Sir.
I am many things, but my step-mother is not one of them.

I arks you wit rispec: please cease and desist from such allegations.

Sincerely,

A Vagabond
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:04, closed)

Gotta feel
sorry for your Dad.

That's a bit depressing.
(username failed moderation, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 13:52, closed)

It was about 20 years ago now. He's fully recovered, and now has a harem of five women for various purposes.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:05, closed)

See, what he really needs
is a Swiss-Army Woman*. She'd have all the functions in one female form, so he wouldn't have to be carrying on with them.

*Other brands are available, but reviews indicate that a S-A W is the most durable and efficient.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:12, closed)

I assure you he doesn't.
He has one he goes to tea with, one he has interleckshal conversations with, one he goes on holiday with, one he goes cycling with, and one he sleeps with.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:22, closed)

leatherwoman?

(magictorch, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:24, closed)

Kinky. And useful.

(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:25, closed)

Like an unwound coathanger.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:25, closed)

Pretty sure I've read this before
but where I do ponder.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:29, closed)

From me.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:37, closed)

That would be it then.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:47, closed)

Awesome.

( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:34, closed)

poidh, etc

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 14:44, closed)

I don't get it. :/
Is she called Noel?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 30 Nov 2012, 16:37, closed)