Drrrrrunk Twat worthy of arrest = Me.
There have been a couple of posts by drunk drivers on this thread so I worry how bad a kicking I'll be subject to after recounting this tale of (self inflicted) woe.
Erm. Seeing as i've been drinking (but not driving) how can I put this? Quite rightly, no-one in their right mind would drink 'n' drive. The problem is though, is that when you're smashed out of your gourd you are not in your right mind.
I've done it myself, truth be told. If i've had 3 or 4 there's no way in hell i'd go near a steering wheel. There was one time though, when after an all day session I decided to drive 10 miles along one of the most dangerous roads in England to visit my fiancee.
The inevitable happened, of course. Rounding a blind corner at 70mph I lost control and ended up rolling the car, ending up upside-down in a ditch on the wrong side of the road. Never mind 'should have been arrested', I should've been killed - I wasn't, although I did cut my thumb.
That night I was lucky - not only to avoid arrest, but avoiding killing some poor innocent.

I have never drunk-driven since that day, though I have of course drunk-posted. This has caused a more widespread, though lower key, distress to the world in general than my behaviour on that sorry occasion. When I see on the news that some unfortunate has fallen victim to some fuckhead pisshead at the wheel, I know that I could've done that. Never say never, if you've had a few and have your car keys on you.
(HarvsPenzance was tired and confused at, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 0:50, 27 replies)

Alternatively,
don't take your car keys to the pub, or moderate your alcohol intake if you do.

Rocket science!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 8:45, closed)

Or, walk to the pub.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 9:30, closed)

Stay at home and get pissed.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 9:40, closed)

There is of course this marvellous new invention
whereby an drunk person may use their mobile telephone (or a nearby public telephone - I hear some public houses even have them inside) to contact a person who having NOT been drinking and using their own vehicle will then arrive & take the inebriated person to their chosen destination for a fee.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 9:45, closed)

It's almost like the OP is a fucking idiot.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 9:56, closed)

Almost?

( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 10:01, closed)

You're fifteen times more likely to die drunk walking than drunk driving.
Truesuperfreakanomicsfacts.

Friends don't let their friends drunk walk. They call them a taxi.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 10:08, closed)

You are far less likely to kill someone else though. Which is kind of the point here.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 10:22, closed)

Not me.
I'm indestructible.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 10:45, closed)

Reading it atm
See my post above.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 11:56, closed)

There's No Chance
of me ever drink driving. It helps that I only bothered to get licence at the ripe old age of 50 and have a tad more sense these days.

It also helps that the missus rarely drinks. Maybe 3 times a year.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 11:11, closed)

Any chance we can become mates
so your missus can skipper for us when we go out on the piss?
On a side-note - the 8 odd mths. my missus was pergnant were my biggest pub nights in fucking years.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 11:58, closed)

your missus rarely drinks in case it lowers her inhibitions and she has sex with you.
cheers.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 13:13, closed)

Oh Janet.
Never going to experience the bittersweet joy of childbirth are you?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 13:41, closed)

what? i have a daughter, thank you.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 14:07, closed)

ringofyre
doesn't let little things like not knowing a thing about a person get in the way of his judging them, you know.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 14:42, closed)

I Refuse
to believe you have any children. I've seen a picture of you (gaz me for link) and you're one of the ugliest bitches I've ever seen. No man would fuck you. Ever. No matter now drunk they get.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 6:44, closed)

whoa there, mr bitter-online.
I am well aware of the picture. you need to let go, man. does your 'wife' know what a horrible misogynist you are?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 7:17, closed)

You really are actually a horrible, horrible man, aren't you?
I'm surprised it took me quite so long spent in ambivalence to reach this conclusion.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:38, closed)

So...
it's fine for Janet to follow me around, slagging me off on virtually every post I make? Indeed, in this thread, she implies that my missus will only shag me when she's drunk.

But, when I retaliate, I'm a horrible person?

Fuck off, Scarpe, your hypocrisy is showing.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 12:15, closed)

I'M NOT UPSET!

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 12:25, closed)

it's ok scarpe, he's just trolling.
cheers.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 12:31, closed)

Aaahahahahahahaha

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 12:26, closed)

i know i'm in danger of repeating myself, here.
but you properly need to get over yourself. i don't 'follow you around' - that paranoia you feel is just your ego stalking you.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 12:27, closed)

pointless internet shitcunt whinge whinge whinge
cheers
( fatpoof, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 12:33, closed)

lololol

( broadsword w⚓, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 12:35, closed)

There's nothing bittersweet about childbirth.
It's fucking awful, whichever way it's carried out.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 19:23, closed)