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This is a question Not having sex

Our pal Freddie Woo says: Climbing into the back seat of the car, she sat on a fortnight-old bag of food shopping I had completely forgotten about. The stench of a bag of bean sprouts popping open is a real passion-killer, I can tell you for nothing. Tell us about the shag you didn't have because you blew it.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 14:01)
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You want a passion killer try having sex in a Morris Marina

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 16:30, 11 replies)
I have had sex in a marina. I have had sex with a Morris. Quite right though, the only thing
worse than a Morris Marina is a Talbot Alpine.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 16:51, closed)
"Minor" reply
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 17:06, closed)

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 18:41, closed)
Nonce Punch

(, Tue 27 May 2014, 11:31, closed)
You're doing it wrong...
Silly man. You didn't want a Marina, you needed a Vauxhall Viva.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 18:33, closed)
yes! as I read that the relevant lines formed in my head.
Then I clicked the link to make sure.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 22:41, closed)
As a proud owner of a Rusty Viva in my late teens...
I can confirm its pulling power :D

The comedy of this post to me is I know the guy who used to own my Viva sold it and bought a Marina.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 22:45, closed)
Comedy gold; go from instant rust Viva to instant rust Marina. Where did it all go wrong?
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 23:15, closed)
The Viva was the superiour car
Some how that Viva of mine had covered over 300,000 miles before it was scrapped. And even then it went to a Viva guy to rip down for parts.

It was only the rust that held it together. I lost the jack once through a rust hole in the boot.

Meanwhile the Marina was just a crock of shite that fell apart when looked at. It was also purple(!?) Whereas my Viva was a lovely shade of white, rust, filler, primer, and a tinge more rust.

Have to admit the black vinyl seats were a bit of a passion killer on a hot day though. Never jump into a car with black vinyl seats while wearing shorts on a sunny day!
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 16:43, closed)
Jesus Christ how could a Viva sustain 300,000 miles without falling in on itself and becoming a black hole of rust?
My poor old Dad bought his first car when in his 50's and just learnt to drive and as a nipper then I remember to this day he pulled back the curtains on the house to display a 'WHITE' Marina. My heart sunk and without knowing cars then I say this a pile of Shite. And so it was.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 23:14, closed)
It was pretty stunning!
I did have the log books to prove it - 300,000! The moon is only 250,000 miles away! Used to be owned by a sales rep before I got my hands on it. Lots of long distance miles on motorways combined with regular servicing probably helped. Shockingly the mechanical side was in such good nick the engine and gearbox lived on long after the car was scrapped. (1972-1990)

And it *was* a pile of rust held together by extra rust, gaffa tape, chicken wire and filler. During the three or four years I owned it I spent a lot of time in the local scrap yards picking up all kinds of parts to "improve" it.

Did I mention that you often got your feet wet when driving through puddles due to the holes in the floor?

Windscreen wipers of such quality that any speed over 50mph had them lifting OFF of the screen leaving you blind on the motorway. Ever tried driving on a motorway at 50mph? This means you are in the slow lane with the lorries passing you and drowning you in even more water and less visibility.

But - hey - what do you expect for the £100 I paid for it? At least it wasn't a Marina!!
(, Sat 24 May 2014, 14:25, closed)

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