all in the name of 'love'...
I was in the last year of sixth form and dating a girl in year 11 (it was all legal, she was old for her age, I was young etc etc, honestly officer). She was hot. Not so much now, so I guess I got in while it was good, so to speak. Anyway, she had a French Oral (giggidy) exam one afternoon and was stressing about it over lunch, she jokingly said I should trip the fire alarm so that it would be postponed, "Ha, yeah, that'd be great" said I...

Early afternoon came and I pondered the glories of such an act, I also pondered the down side, being in the sixth form and supposedly setting an example to all the lower years, plus how could i get out of the classroom with a good excuse and not have my teacher get suspicious? While I pondered this and also wondered what my 'reward' would be from the girlfriend, the fire alarm went off... I panicked..

I knew it wasn't me, but no-one else was in the room to be my witness, I was nowhere near a fire alarm. Had the power of my mind done this?

No.

So everyone makes their way into the car park to line up. I walk past the girlfriend, she's smiling, she gives me a cheeky wink.

She thinks I did this.

I didn't.

After school she comes bounding over.

"Oh my god, You're amazing! thanks for that..."

"well I..."

"it was you wasn't it?"

"yep."

we did rude stuff that night.
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:25, 22 replies)

*Coughs*
^^Virgin^^
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:35, closed)

she was, I wasn't. But I guess you'll have to take my word for that...
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 11:26, closed)

I suspect you mean 'old for her school year'
as I don't think that having a mature attitude counts as a legal defence.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:44, closed)

it was good 12 years or so ago, we've both moved on and married (different people) so I guess it didn't have any lasting effect on either of us...
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 11:27, closed)

Wow.
That wasn't actually the point I was making at all.

but...um...thanks for confirming...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:16, closed)

She had the spelling and reading capacity of a 16 year old?

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:58, closed)

Fucking nonce.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 11:23, closed)

By 'rude stuff' you mean 'using the wrong ctlery' and 'not opening the door for old ladies' right?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 11:32, closed)

nothing that rude. we were young and didn't know of such rudery...
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 11:37, closed)

Blowing raspberries at old ladies?
That sort of thing then?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 11:45, closed)

Slurping your tea?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 11:45, closed)

Looking at the ankles of a Victorian lady?

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 11:49, closed)

NECRO-NONCE

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 11:48, closed)

Give
it a fucking rest will you? And, yes, /talk, I'm speaking to you.

There's nonces on b3ta -we all know that (waves to Jonathan King) - but some spotty-faced 6th former knobbing a girl who is 15 or 16 hardly qualifies him for the title of Paedophile Of The Year.

I lost my cherry when I was 15 - to a 15 year old girl so, technically, we could have both been charged with noncery and put on the Sex Offenders Register for life.

So leave your nonce bullshit to people who deserve the title. You know - adults fucking little children.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:05, closed)

fuck off legless, you humourless prick.
cheers.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:34, closed)

The thing about peadophiles who like to read other people's stories of touching children is that they don't have much of a sense of humour.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:44, closed)

Oh Joy
The badger roars. But, like badgers everywhere, doesn't make any fucking sense....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:50, closed)

As Usual
no style, no substance, no class, no clue. Just trotting out the tired old lines that you've learned from someone else.

Jesus, Cunt (I can call you cunt can't I?), if you want to insult me, denigrate me (look it up), troll me - at least put some effort into it.

*shakes head*

I remember when trolls had style.....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:45, closed)

I've just worked out that the people you're accusing of being /talk regulars have a combined /talk post count than your average use of the word 'cheers' in a week.
Well done on keeping your arguments full of substance.

Cheers.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:47, closed)

Would You Like To Prove That?

that would be a no then. because you're all mouth and no...no..err..no anything really.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:52, closed)

OH YOU AN YOR BIG WORDS I AM A FICK DURRR.
really, though? i really want you to fuck off.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:51, closed)

On Cunt..

( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:53, closed)