Blacklisted by Jehovah's Witnesses
Several years ago I was 'working' from home as my car was in the garage. It's pretty rare that I get the house to myself so decided to screw work and spend the day sat at my PC in just my pants surfing the net and writing music with the volume set to 11 - I left msn on so my boss knew I was at home and was there if they needed anything.

A bit later I had a bath and was mid-way through a thorough 'cock-washing' session when I heard the chime of msn. Thinking it was work, I jumped out the bath, my erection slapping against my belly as I ran wet and naked down the hall to my 'office'.

It was one of those 'gotta see this' links from a mate. I was annoyed that he had interrupted my wank as I was still very much aroused, but clicked it anyway, and waited for it to buffer.

Suddenly, the doorbell went and my puppy, Ten, started barking like a bastard, going crazy and pissing all over the floor. There were no clothes in my office so I quickly grabbed a small hand towel that was on the radiator, wrapped it around as much of me as I could and opened the door enough to stick my head through whilst not revealing my semi-naked/erect state.

The second I opened the door, Ten started trying to get to the two prim and proper Jehovah's witness women on the other side, whilst biting fuck out of the leg and foot I was trying to 'restrain' him with. A well timed bite to the toes and he was free.

The two old birds stared open-mouthed as the horror unfolded in slow-motion in front of them: As I lunged out the door trying to grab the savage puppy intent on eating them, the tiny towel slid off me and fell to the floor unveiling my rapidly-deflating but still obviously semi-erect penis. At that exact moment the buffering video started playing, at volume 11, and my stammering apologies were promptly drowned out by the sound of an enthusiastic woman being double-fisted by German sadists.

They looked at me with utter disgust, as though I was the most godless creature on earth and promptly left whilst I covered my now-shrivelled genitals with a three month old whippet, almost in tears.

It certainly wasn't what it looked like, but on the plus-side I have never had another visit from them since then.

Apologies not just for length but also the glistening trail of pre-cum I left on your hand-bag.
(tinpixel, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 16:40, 4 replies)

Don't believe a word of it
But it's fun and well written, so cheers!
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 17:05, closed)

I agree with what he said
and will click



*click


see?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 17:42, closed)

As unbelievable as it sounds....
...it is actually true, though the porn might have been something else and I didn't get pre-cum on anyone's handbag.

Bare in mind it all happened really quickly and clumsily and I angled my body and limbs to stay as respectable as possible (think Gollum playing Twister) - they probably didn't witness much of my little Jehova.

Anyway, glad you enjoyed it and thanks for clicks, you good people.

Maybe one day I'll tell the one where I nearly fell to my death and got raped by a tree in an incredible IBS car park nightmare...
(tinpixel, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 23:00, closed)

Pre-cuuuuuuuuuuum!!
It certainly does glisten.
(Surfeit, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 20:13, closed)