Slice and Dice - Don't read while eating...
I used to work in a lab that performed 'bio-distributions'.

If you have a tumour, and have to have a scan, they sometimes inject you with some radioactive stuff. We were trying to design the radioactive stuff so that it sticks to the tumours, so that they show up on the scan. That's the basic idea.

In the research stage, one of the things to test is how the compound moves around the body when you inject it into an animal, you do that by performing a bio-distribution; inject the animal, wait a certain amount of time, and then dissect it carefully, before counting the separate pieces on a radioactivity counter. That way you can work out where the radioactivity moves around the system... or 'mouse', if you prefer...

Anyway, the dissection procedure has to be fairly uniform and precise to do these things, otherwise the data ends up poor, and if there's one thing you REALLY don't want to do when working with animals is waste a life by cocking up your procedures.

Anyway, over the year I worked in the lab, I estimate I chopped up hundreds of mice, possibly close to 1000, and I can still follow the procedure in my head and hands.

Once the mouse is under anaesthetic, hold blunt end of scissors to the back of the neck, and push down while pulling tail hard, this discolates the neck vertebrae, breaks the neck and kills the animal. A quick incision down the front and then quickly remove the bladder before it leaks, then 1 incision either side up the ribs, and peel back to open the chest cavity. Take the lungs (rinse), the heart (slice to remove blood then rinse) and take a blood sample with a syringe (weigh and record). Open the neck incision higher to take the thymus (if required) and then the thyroid. Lift the animal, small snips behind and below the diaphragm to remove the liver and intestines. Separate the stomach first (don't nick it, or it smells), then the liver (separate lobes if required) then the spleen. Then pull small intestine slowly away from blood supply, and then large intestine. Snip behind kidneys to remove separately. Lift left hind-leg, slice neatly at the back to remove skin. Two snips, one at the base, one up the back of the bone, to remove muscle sample from thigh (weigh and record), and then trim in deeper to get bone sample (weigh and record). Remove excess fat from skin, and collect skin sample (weigh and record). Remove tail (to check injection site). Turn animal over. Snip to remove skin from head, then insert scissors into back of skull. Slice down thin portion of skull, 1 incision each side, then peel back to remove skull flap. Gently pull out the brain. Separate cerebellum/cerebrum, left-right hemispheres if required. Remove eyes if required. Remaining carcass into separate pots. Seal lids, label, send to radiation counter.

I was busily explaining this procedure to a friend the other day (with my eyes closed to more easily visualise it as I moved my hands through the motions) when I looked up and saw said friend looking at me in utter horror. I suppose normal people don't say things like 'gently pull out the brain' over morning coffee.

Oh, and the obligatory note to those against animal testing. Unless you are a full vegan, who does not use ANY modern medicine (aside from homeopathy, you are welcome to that), your hypocritical views are null and void. Otherwise, you have the right to disagree, but please stop using outdated information, and footage from cosmetics testing (which IS pretty abhorrent, and banned in the UK) to back up your views. Kthxbye.
(Serotonicity was a naughty boy on..., Fri 1 Jul 2011, 19:30, 11 replies)

I could probably still dissect the arsehole out of a rice cyst nematode if I had to.
As we all know the anal rings are the best way to identify the species
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 1 Jul 2011, 19:57, closed)

Cervical dislocation?
Don't you just pick the up by the tail and thwack their head/neck on the edge of the bench?
( Ghoti Fingers, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 22:33, closed)

Yes and no. Mainly no. Entirely no, actually. If you balls it up, it's very horrid. A lecturer once told me about using that technique on a rat; the tail 'de-gloved', ratty went flying, and then continued to fly down the coridoor, tail liberally spraying the world with blood. Not fun.

Much simpler to just give them some sleepy sleepy isoflurane, let them drift off, and do it all nice and calmly.
(Serotonicity was a naughty boy on..., Fri 1 Jul 2011, 22:47, closed)

Good for you!
I'd almost call myself an "animal rights" person, but I don't because the "animal rights" folks are seven kinds of crazy.

Ban testing hair dye on rabbits? Of course.
Ban terrible battery farming of hens where they're shoved into horrible little boxes for their entire life? Certainly.
Require minimum standards for pigs and cattle so they don't live terrible, miserable lives pumped full of antibiotics and steroids necessary due to overcrowding? That just makes sense.
Punish people who are cruel to cats, dogs, or other domestic animals? Lock the fuckers up before they escalate to a child or spouse. Oh, and if you please, I'd be happy to kick anyone who's willfully neglected or abused a pet right in the crotch.

But ban reasonable medical testing on animals? YOU STUPID CUNT. I'm sorry, but that's just going to cause more death of both people and animals. ALL advances in medical science--human or veterinary--require testing on actual living beings. It's sad and I wish fuzzy little mice didn't have to be chopped up, BUT THEY DO. If we ever get to a point where it's unnecessary, that would be great. But we're not even close. Letting lab animals "free" is the action of a twit of the first water.
(herbivorous, Sat 2 Jul 2011, 7:07, closed)

Will you watch my dog on thursday?

( postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Sat 2 Jul 2011, 7:48, closed)

If I weren't in the U.S. I'd consider it.

(herbivorous, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 0:47, closed)

People would be surprised if they spent any time in a good animal lab, how much of your life is spent on getting data as opposed to how much is spent on animal welfare, making sure they are well fed, watered, cared for etc. It's about a 90-10 split in favour of the animal welfare. In fact, current lab standards are so good that data gathered in the 1960's is now not very comparable to modern experiments, because the animals are so happy that it gives completely different data!
(Serotonicity was a naughty boy on..., Sat 2 Jul 2011, 9:20, closed)

There was no need for a full rundown of how to do it

(Nanny Pat vote for me, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 16:47, closed)

Maybe so, but I did give a warning, and I guessed that some people might find it interesting. Apologies if that was wrong.
(Serotonicity was a naughty boy on..., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 19:58, closed)

No,
you said 'Don't read while eating'. At no point did you say 'Don't read if you are a big pansy gaylord'.
(Jboy, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 0:27, closed)

I am neither a pansy or a gaylord thank you sir

(Nanny Pat vote for me, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:24, closed)