"And on the eighth day, the LORD created The Interweb,
"Yea, and he did say unto the Onanites,
'Behold, ye who have so long lamented Eve's rejection of your kind, I have given unto ye a tool which will allow for the contacting of persons all around my great and fine Earth. But I warn ye, follow ye the path of the Wise Man, not that of the White Knight, lest ye should ruin this great boon and drive the womenfolk even further from ye.'
But the Onanites heeded not the warning of the LORD, for too drawn were they to the myriad wonder of the LORD'S creation, yea, and too distracted were they by the challenge of the typing of the one hand, and too tempted were they by the sins of the flesh bought closer unto them.
And there was much masturbating."
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 14:38, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Inspired!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 14:40, Reply)

And thus spake the Lord
some shit about 'casting one's seed on stony ground' not actually being a metaphor for cranking one out on the patio when your parents are at Tesco's.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Ha!
And even as they did lament their errors, and through their tears cried the LORD'S own prayer for to repent and beg forgiveness, their thoughts were turned once again unto the temptations of The Internet, yea, and their hands did stray once more unto the folds of their cassocks.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 14:46, Reply)