Yeah but that just makes it sound
like you excuse bad behaviour because you fancy them, whereas you'd pull anyone else up on it- exactly as they are doing.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 16:12, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I think it's more giving them the benifit of the doubt.
Everyone can say things that can be interpretted the wrong way. I often tend to assume that anyone I'm involved with isn't trying to insult me but I haven't often found that this works both ways.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 16:15, Reply)

But if it's outright horrible
like someone saying they'd only sleep with you if you won the lottery you should pull them up on it, even if you fancy them. Otherwise they'll view you as a pushover.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 16:18, Reply)

I'm not much one for confrontation in real life.
and I am a bit of a pushover.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 16:21, Reply)

Well your choice
but even from people I fancy, I wouldn't stand for them being deliberately cruel and I probably wouldn't fancy them for much longer, no matter how attractive they were.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 16:23, Reply)

sometimes it's better to tell people what you really think, though
otherwise they WILL draw their own conclusions. whereas having what might seem like it would be a difficult conversation can stop them from thinking you are a total twat. and inevitably telling everyone else that you are a total twat. AND the conversation might be easier than you think, eg my fiasco this morning.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 16:24, Reply)