i'm not really
booking lots of holidays, agreed a deal with the beauty salon wherein they get to use me as a model (eyes and eyebrows only, it's not really v flattering but it is in return for this £300 hair treatment i've been panting after), next 6 weekends or so are all really exciting, new flatmate is great fun, there's potential for some sweet action with a guy who ISN'T a total twat, am having to buy loads of lovely new clothes because the old ones are too big... so far i quite like 2011.

..... erm, i have laddered my £20 tights and these high heels are really killing the balls of my feet, does that help?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:48, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

what the fuck can you do to your hair that can possibly cost £300?
I'm genuinely intrigued.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Her tights were £20, in case you missed that.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Are tights not normally £20?

( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:52, Reply)

No, because they ladder, and you've wasted £20 instead of a fiver.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)

sorry
couldn't resist after djtp told me to stop it - only thing is, he's not here to annoy!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I have noticed it!
I can't imagine saying "I got on the £1.80 bus wearing my £85 boots, when I got home I sat on my £900 sofa, got up, switched on the £3.99 lamp and ironed my £13 dress, before eating a £2.50 moussaka."
It's rarely relevant. WHY RACHEL WHY??
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Buses are £3.70 return around my way for a two mile trip.
Fact.
( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:02, Reply)

*writes this down*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Oh? Well if you're interested:
My shoes cost £100, my trousers £50 and I don't have any tights, but if I did, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be costing £20. Not even with the Swarovski crystals in the heel.
( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:05, Reply)

*isn't interested*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:10, Reply)

I collected Swarovski ornaments as a kid
The amount of crystal in my mother's loft would keep someone in £20 tights for years!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:13, Reply)

*shakes head sadly*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:18, Reply)

What? I just loved crystals.
I did my English Speaking Board piece on natural crystals, then talked about how Swarovski and the like make their impostor crystal, then showed some of my little ornaments.
Then when I got older I went all New Age and collected things like amethyst and quartz, all jagged.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Did you wear them on your socks?

( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

As a kid I was not allowed any socks with frills/embellishments.
TRUFACT
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:35, Reply)

i really really don't know, i certainly don't do it in real life.
i think it's the tiny little troll in me, because it pokes people like al (bless him) and makes them come out with stuff that amuses me...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Oh fair enough, if it's to provoke.
Because I have a mate who mentions the price and brand name of everything. In her case it's because she was poor as a child and is now in awe of the kind of things she's able to buy. And she also admits a tiny part of her thinks she's making the rest of us jealous. And from what I gather you've always had a comfortable existence, so you wouldn't see it as appropriate or necessary.
I'm the opposite. I really annoy my mother by telling her how cheap or second-hand my clothes are. You can see her kicking herself for complimenting a dress when she finds out it cost me £2.50 in SCOPE.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:09, Reply)

That isn't fair.
With the disabilities that spastics have, how can you expect them to price things appropriately?

I think you're taking advantage of them.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

I also take advantage of people with heart disease, people with cancer, abused children and the overseas poor.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:14, Reply)

heh heh heh
Is there no end to how evil you are?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:15, Reply)

Nope.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:21, Reply)

So Barnardos kids can go fuck themselves, tut tut
edit: dur you've got that one covered
edit edit: why can't Scope go old skool and go back to being the Spastics Society
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:19, Reply)

it offends muslims

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:32, Reply)

yeah it really is
i don't actually buy many designer clothes at all, and certainly nothing with an obvious label, i hate that shit. it really is just to stir up some outrage on here.

although weirdly the one that really upset people was the innocent vitamin water - it just tastes nice, is all!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:22, Reply)

You can do what you like with your money.
if I was minted I'd buy too much gingham and china.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:34, Reply)

I'm afraid I do the opposite
well, sort of. My mother is the kind of woman who cheerfully dresses herself in mismatching, clashing polyester crap that she bought for 37p off Preston market. She thinks high street prices are too high - and sometimes she has a point - but since I buy a lot of my nicer clothes second hand I don't spend nearly as much as I would if I bought them in shops, and I like to tell her how much they're worth (as opposed to what they cost me) just to see her get annoyed.
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:22, Reply)

I've got some cracking things from second hand shops
but anything with a label was undoubtedly bought for me by my mum because she can't believe I'm letting the side down.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Does your mum have a store card for Sports Direct?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Nah, she's not scum like me
She's a John Lewis and M&S storecard person whereas I'd like a Primark one.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Haha, really?
for some reason I thought you were a vintage kid...
To be honest though, a Primark storecard would be utterly pointless, if you spend £50 in there you get enough clothes to last you for years!
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:34, Reply)

I am all gingham and spots and vintage and that,
but a girl needs her staples, and for that £13 emergency pretend-flapper dress, there's always the 'Mark,
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:38, Reply)

I once spent £120 in Primark
I'm still not sure how I managed that.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:41, Reply)

What?!
Did you buy one of everything they had?!
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:42, Reply)

It is easily done.
They also have a Home section.
Don't forget that. Also, some suits are as purse-bustingly expensive as £35.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:45, Reply)

£35? Surely not!
To be honest, I've never found more than three things I liked on one trip. Plus the one in Brum is a total zoo, I wouldn't even contemplate going in at the weekend.
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:48, Reply)

That it is
Complete bedlam on a Saturday.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:49, Reply)

I had 4 of those MASSIVE bags they have
It was pretty awesome.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:48, Reply)

I'm too short for those bags
They drag along the floor :(
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:49, Reply)

Yeah, I made my friend carry them
I'm tiny :/
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:52, Reply)

*pats on head*

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:54, Reply)

*knees in crotch*
don't fucking patronise me
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Ow.
*collapses*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:00, Reply)

I used to buy 60 denier tights to race in
they were much cheaper than leggings and tear equally easily. Yes, I am gay.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Yes, you really are.
You're a disgusting tranny that even our resident ladyboy AA wouldn't hang around with.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:02, Reply)

If only I actually fancied men, eh?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

If only they fancied you back, you mean.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Oh, MAN, you always cut right to heart of my pain.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:17, Reply)

I don't really understand this girl stuff
I try to avoid it if at all possible.
( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

I've totally given up on shit like that
after the salad episode. I am however honestly interested to know what you can possibly do to your hair that costs the same as a decent sized television. Especially since it can presumably last for a maximum of about 18 hours before it's immediately turned into bed hair.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:54, Reply)

it's a treatment
that lasts 4-6 months. they blow-dry keratin into it.

even i wouldn't pay £300 for it, because i don't think it will work. but if they want to shape my eyebrows and take a picture for their brochure and do it for free, that's fine by me!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:55, Reply)

This isn't the shit that straightens curly hair for about 6 months is it?
I believe it does work. It's just your hair then looks like "curly hair that's been straightened" as opposed to "straight hair"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Keratin's the stuff hair's made of, right?
They blow dry hair into hair? Hair and fingernails, in fact. Also rhino horn, if I'm remembering my biology right. Can't see the attraction, myself.
( Kroney, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:00, Reply)

I think the argument is it makes the hair thicker so straightens under it's own weight
Sounds like utter horseshit to me, but it does seem to work on some people.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:11, Reply)

OK SO
i am reeeeeeally intrigued as to what you know about this, do you know anyone who has had it?? i hate having curly hair, but i don't want to turn it into part straight part wavy disaster hair... sod that, they can just give me £300 cash if they want my eyebrows that badly!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:01, Reply)

I plucked my eyebrows too much in my 20s
They've got thicker again now, but they start thinning again once you approach 40 so I doubt I have much longer with them.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:04, Reply)

I always lol at the bints who have theirs tattooed on

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:08, Reply)

haha round here they're the type who know how to decorate the room when a corpse comes home

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:10, Reply)

You can get eyebrow transplants now
They cut some of your scalp off and sew it above your eyes.

Apparently it takes a while to behave like eyebrow hair, so you have to trim your brows every day.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Hahah, the things people do!
imagine little plaited eyebrows!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Well that was my thought
You could put little bows in or something
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:18, Reply)

You have looked a little Eastern European in your most recent pics...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:05, Reply)

Yeah, a close friend of mine had it done
It does work, but on her it looked a bit odd close-up because, well, it's hard to explain but it looked like curly hair that was straight, if that makes any sense. It did stay straight for a few months though although she had to be quite careful with washing and rain and stuff I think. But she had REALLY curly hair

Mind you, I honestly can't imagine why anyone would want to go from just wavy to straight. Wavy is just generally much more attractive.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:09, Reply)

i don't mind curls and i don't mind waves
but the problem with mine is that with london water it goes frizzy and THAT is just awful. so it's the frizz i'm really looking to tame.

thank you, this is good info.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:20, Reply)

£300 would easily buy you 6 months worth of Evian to wash your hair in, though ;)

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:22, Reply)

ha
but then it would be cold. which is good for sealing the cuticles after conditioning and making it sleek, i suppose...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Is there not a Brita filter type thing
that you can put on your shower to stop the water being so mingy? Mine does exactly the same but as it's curly already it just goes horribly afro-like.
If there isn't one, someone on here should invent one but I want a cut of at least 30%...
(berk, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:35, Reply)

someone was telling me
that you can have a water softener fitted, might have been maxi.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:54, Reply)

I had a water softener in my old house.
www.harveywatersofteners.co.uk/?gclid=CPKx3f6ZsqYCFcgf4Qodn3E4ZQ
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:57, Reply)

Plese justify £20 tights to us
I'm not being sarky, I genuinely want to know if they're better than normal tights.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Maybe they come with eye-holes already cut into them so you can do a bank-job on the way home?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Well, you'd have to, wouldn't you
If you wanted more insanely expensive hosiery
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:21, Reply)

yeah they really really are
they are wolford and they have swarovski crystals on them in a little pattern on the ankles. i love(d) them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I will never pay £20 for a pair of tights.
Not even if they have sparkly bits. They ladder too easily.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:10, Reply)

tbh
it is virtually impossible to ladder wolfords, they really are worth the money because you can wear them many times, whereas a £5 pair probably lasts 2 or 3 times before getting manky. i only managed it this morning because i caught them on a nail and ripped them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Yeah, but if I did that to a £20 pair of tights, I'd be properly devastated, especially if I really liked them
Whereas multipacks from Primark, I don't care what happens to them.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:24, Reply)

i usually compromise
and get something like m&s autograph, which last really well and are about £4 - £10.

the wolfords were a bit of a treat from an outlet mall in the states; i bought about 20 pairs of fancy tights that should all have been about $300 for about 80% off. i have another pair that i haven't worn yet which have swarovski crystals all up the back; they look amazing. but they should have been about $1,000. seriously. WHO would pay that? but clearly people do, or they wouldn't make them!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:29, Reply)

That's actually insane
Like, wow.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:35, Reply)

They do sound like awesome tights though
Wouldn't buy them though because not one pair of tights I have has survived. I even laddered my brandnew charcoal grey ones after five minutes :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:14, Reply)

i'll treat you to some
as a graduation gift!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:18, Reply)

This lacks self loathing and repressed memories of child abuse
You're not really entering into the spirit of things
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:52, Reply)

sorry
er.........

..................... my childhood budgie died when i was 18. it lasted 13 years, which is pretty good going for a bird. does that count?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:55, Reply)

:( There's no real gossip here
Ha, Pistons going!! I'm looking forward to the standup routine that he'll be bullied into doing.
AWOOGA
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:05, Reply)

lots of people are going
this makes me and rak v happy!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

You know what, I think I'll come too.

( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Oh man, I hope he tries to pull
seeing him do that was one of the worst things I've ever seen.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

according to the calendar
you're not going. so you'll have to be dependent on the monday morning gossip posts!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Piston is certainly the gift that keeps on giving

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Hello there.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:08, Reply)

omg
hello stranger

how are you, light of my (internet) life??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Not feeling too well
but seeing my child tonight so that's good. I have a great picture of her thrashing her new drumkit which I shall send you at some point.

I also have working turntables at home for the first time in over 6 months. This is a good thing. How are you faring?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:15, Reply)

i was doing much better
before hearing you were ill. get better!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:17, Reply)

I hope I do.
My stomach feels like I've been drinking bleach.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:23, Reply)

oh poor you
there are so many manky things going around at the moment, horrendous.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:31, Reply)

Sweet action?
Does that mean sharing a packet of Parma Violets?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:54, Reply)

You and I both know that there's somewhere that you need to leave now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:08, Reply)

It's called 'the internet'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

I'm capable of far worse Monty.
At least ask me to leave when I've posted something I'm pleased with.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:13, Reply)

You certainly are.
But leave anyway, just in case.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:22, Reply)

What's it worth?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

The endless gratitude of an entire online community.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Why the fuck would you want to eat Parma Violets?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Agreed. They taste of Lily of the Valley, the perfume of nans.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 12:47, Reply)