I wasn't trying to touch you at all
it was the gravitational pull of your massive gut; I couldn't help it.

I do lose ALL sense of personal space when I'm drunk, I apologise if I was actually trying to touch you. I didn't mean anything by it.
(berk, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:06, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I didn't really mind
but the wife was a bit upset, especially when you tried to follow me into the toilets.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:07, Reply)

It's called orbit
and I'm pretty sure I would have remembered that.
(berk, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)

That last line just crushed the poor fella
He thought that maybe a girl was showing him some affection, but no, you've ruined that. You couldn't just let him have that dream, could you.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:07, Reply)

*cries*
Hold me Labs!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Oh Christ, really?
I mean, sure, there there fella.
*awkwardly holds the sobbing al, who pauses crying only for one brief embarrassing moment when we both realise al's erection is rubbing against my leg*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:12, Reply)

No. No, I couldn't.

(berk, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:11, Reply)