May I just say
F.F.S. :
www.guardian.co.uk/music/2011/jan/27/worlds-first-beatles-graduate

How fucking preposterous.
Still good news for me, I can’t wait to get my ‘getting sniffed-up and fucking about on the guitar at 3am’ master’s.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:14, 116 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You are far too angry about this Monty.
Let it be.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:21, Reply)

LTI

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:26, Reply)

We should get a revolving door for Jeff.

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Revolving door?
Revolution.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:30, Reply)

revolving door for Jeff code-activated lock to gain entry to the internet, and not tell Jeff the code.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Then it'll be a case of
Hello, Goodbye.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Ah, the paperboy's just turned up. Jolly good.
Here comes The Sun.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:35, Reply)

ARGH!
I actually lolled at this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:36, Reply)

You told me to do that
Yesterday.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:28, Reply)

And have you?
No, you have not.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:30, Reply)

But then all my troubles seemed so far away.
Still, I'll get by with a little help from my friends.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:31, Reply)

You're good at this, you could be a paperback writer.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Thanks.
I feel fine.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:37, Reply)

No help needed then?
We can work it out together. In my life I've had to deal with this sort of thing. Dont let me down Jeff
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:40, Reply)

Don't worry Jeff.
your internet wife will make sure you don't really have to leave the internet. Afterall, She Loves You (yeah yeah yeah, etc)
(berk, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:50, Reply)

It doesn't matter if she shuns me berk as
I've got a ticket to ride and I'm as free as a bird.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:52, Reply)

You need professional Help

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:54, Reply)

It'll be a
Long and Winding Road back to full health.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Oh, I heard you were Polythene Pam, I am the Walrus, While My Guitar Gently Weeps and Magical Mystery Tour.
Am I doing this right? We are doing the randomly quote Beatles songs way past the point when the joke was funny yeah?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Yeah you're doing it right
...Entrails ripped from a virgin's cunt.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Was that a B-side?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Yep
The 'other' one Ringo wrote.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Ah, so you've got their B-Sides album?

EDIT - curse you, Al!
(berk, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:01, Reply)

You totally love me really
I noticed you blatantly trying to touch me at the weekend.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:03, Reply)

I wasn't trying to touch you at all
it was the gravitational pull of your massive gut; I couldn't help it.

I do lose ALL sense of personal space when I'm drunk, I apologise if I was actually trying to touch you. I didn't mean anything by it.
(berk, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I didn't really mind
but the wife was a bit upset, especially when you tried to follow me into the toilets.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:07, Reply)

It's called orbit
and I'm pretty sure I would have remembered that.
(berk, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)

That last line just crushed the poor fella
He thought that maybe a girl was showing him some affection, but no, you've ruined that. You couldn't just let him have that dream, could you.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:07, Reply)

*cries*
Hold me Labs!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Oh Christ, really?
I mean, sure, there there fella.
*awkwardly holds the sobbing al, who pauses crying only for one brief embarrassing moment when we both realise al's erection is rubbing against my leg*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:12, Reply)

No. No, I couldn't.

(berk, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Afternoon berk
How's you?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:53, Reply)

It makes me suspicious when you're seemingly being nice
but I'm fine Al, thanks for asking. How're you?
(berk, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:56, Reply)

I'm okay
This morning I had breakfast in a Tesco cafe on my way to High Wycombe.

The guy behind me not only knew the names of all the ladies working in the cafe, but talked very loudly about the weather with them.

It struck me that he was probably quite a lonely person who was simply making friends and getting social interaction where he could. But I also couldn't help but think "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID LOUD CUNT I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR OPINION ON THIS WINTER IS, PLEASE FUCK OFF AND FIND SOME ACTUAL FRIENDS TO DISCUSS THIS WITH QUIETLY"
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Unlucky
at least you'll never have to see him again.
(berk, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Pfft! He can fend for himself.
He's got a bit on the side now.
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Don't know and don't care but I would rather like to get jiggy with this man.
theberry.com/2011/01/26/afternoon-eye-candy-oded-fehr-27-photos/
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:22, Reply)

He looks bent.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Is any man ever going to be good enough for me Monty?

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:27, Reply)

obvious reply is obvious
me Yeah, pretty much all of them.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Ouch,
I'm still going with 'I am', so nerr.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:29, Reply)

LIES!
Only Schteve is man enough for The Montster.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:30, Reply)

He said Monty reminded him of
"Thisch cute little Schpaniel I had when I wasch a boy, only not scho toit."
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:32, Reply)

I loike shish
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:34, Reply)

I'm a monster????

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:34, Reply)

MonTster

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Oh! I get it now.

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:40, Reply)

You would prefer this one
images.usatoday.com/life/_photos/2005/08/26/abrams.jpg

From this band
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ask_sedxu0o&feature=related
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Urgh!

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Looks like you Al.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:27, Reply)

A much slimmer version of me you mean.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:28, Reply)

And about 50% less bent.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Are you not teaching this?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:22, Reply)

I only teach the 'why they were fucking cunts' module, not the whole course

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:26, Reply)

I meant the getting sniffed-up and fucking about on the guitar at 3am

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:31, Reply)

Ah, I see.
I'm still looking for the 'right' university for my talent-base.

DeMONTfort is a front-runner.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:33, Reply)

judging by the link
It looks ridiculous*

*says the ancient history student
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:25, Reply)

George Santayana said it best.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I scored 9 out of 10 in the 'would you pass a Beatles MA' quiz.
I expect Roota will have my diploma in the post by the end of business today.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Nah, she'll have nicked it before she had the chance

(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:29, Reply)

With Barry driving the (stolen) getaway car.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:31, Reply)

At least teh police won't need to have a man hunt
they'll just wait until the next Squeeze concert at the Phil and head to the great seats.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Innit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:36, Reply)

i eated it. sozlolz

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:59, Reply)

I'm seeing you in 2 days!
How cool is that!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Getting the binoculars cleaned?

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Yeah
and I paid someone to break in and take down her net curtains.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:06, Reply)

it's FROSTY cool!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)

To be honest, I managed 7/10
And, speaking as someone who hates The Beatles with a passion, even I could tell that was a fairly shit quiz.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:05, Reply)

I really hope that's self funded.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:42, Reply)

oh
[speechless]
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:56, Reply)

I bet she'll soon be one of the faceless majority who will soon earn more than you

(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:00, Reply)

then it will have been an excellent expenditure of tax payers' money
3k a month like some sort of fruit machine.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:01, Reply)

The world does not contain enough palms or faces
to adequately express what a fucking retarded concept that truly is.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:07, Reply)

My legs are tired but I was going to go to the gym tonight.
Do I:

a) Still go but not be able to do any proper running so just fanny about on the treadmill.

b) Leave it and go home and do some Spanish.
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:08, Reply)

I've been feeling shit (ill) all week
And have therefore sacked off exercise as I'm aching enough as it is. I say option b).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Vipros mentioned it the other day but I do much better if I go twice a week than every other day or more.
But I want to up my fitness and my legs are letting me down.
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Start a rigour regime of Hindu Squats
to supplement the running.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPSVpo4mzNI
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Bloody hell!
Don't know how many of them I'd be able to do.
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Start off aiming for 2-3 set of 10 reps.
But you'll be surprised how quickly you can build up the number of reps.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:20, Reply)

I'll give it a go tonight : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Go to the gym
and work through the tiredness. You'll never progress unless you push yourself.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)

When I went last night my legs were tired. I could only manage 10 minutes running and then I just did fast walking on an incline.
It's frustrating.

I might speak to the assistant there about it next time.
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Go home and do a Spaniard.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:11, Reply)

On a treadmill

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:13, Reply)

With added 'fanny about'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Rang your girlfriend yet?
*narrows eyes*
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)

No Blousie.
And she isn't my girlfriend either!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Oooo! Jeff has a GIIIIIRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEENNNNNNNDDDDDDD!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Innit!
We've only been internet husband and wife for a short time and he's off chasing other women.

Once again I am tossed aside like last nights chips.
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:24, Reply)

don't worry about it, you didn't want a relationship anyway

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Didn't I?

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Jeff's not good enough for you
There, I said it. We've all been skirting around it for a while, but I just wanted to say it clearly.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:28, Reply)

^ This.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Well your insistance on throwing disdain on my zombie fun was getting a little irksome.
And you are unemployed.
And you've never given me an internet hug.


Maybe Labs is right.
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:34, Reply)

You've had a REAL hug.
Surely better than an Internet hug?

*Hugs and hopes*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:37, Reply)

Oh yes! I forgot about that.
It was lully : )
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:41, Reply)

You forgot that he looks a bit like that cunt Paul Weller

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:39, Reply)

She prefers her own company.
And that of her massive pink vibrator.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:28, Reply)

oi
it's not me!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:32, Reply)

gross

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:43, Reply)

I'm sure she cleans it afterwards
Cleanliness is next to Godliness.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:47, Reply)

And we are still Internet husband and wife.
But I do request you either make fewer chips, or eat all the ones you've made.

I hate throwing food away.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Friend! Friend! Football Friend!
Oooh, Friend!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:24, Reply)

he's not my fucking friend

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Yeah, maybe if you sit on it
it'll be like one of those toning rubber band things from the 80s.
(berk, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Are you talking about Labs cock?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:23, Reply)

I really, genuinely have no idea
how your mind arrived at that conclusion from what I said.
(berk, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Because he's thinking of my cock.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:29, Reply)

+waiter

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)

go up cross stone
walking up that vertical bloody incline for miles will fix them right up. you can take some flowers for my grandma's grave whilst you're at it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Oo! not been up there.
To be honest I've not done much walking around Tod. I should fix that this summer.
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:30, Reply)

I can give you a lift up there in the summer if you like
save you walking.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Haha!
Steep inclines hold no fear for me. I was brought up in Blackburn, which is surrounded by seven hills.
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:38, Reply)

oh you should
the graveyard is a bit macabre because it's a graveyard, but it has got some really old monuments. and an old church that is slipping down the hill. but best of all is the view, it's lovely.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:43, Reply)

Where abouts is it?

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 14:47, Reply)