My take on this
is always reverse the situation, i.e. think to yourself "what would be going through my head if I sent a third party a text saying that I was no longer in love with my partner but was in love with them and I would be with them ?"

There is as you say no clear "excuse" or explanation to be found for that. Also, sad to say, once the intimacy / sex in a relationship is gone - it rarely returns.

You're not married - so the "half my house" etc situation is less of an issue here. Sure you will be paying maintenance for your daughter, but unlikely she is going to get much of a settlement.

You have two clear choices; not acting on the information you now have is not one of them.

Either you can confront her, which doesn't mean having a storming row, but does mean picking your moment and the method of delivery. You going through her phone does not give her a "get out jail" card on this one. Make sure that you have an alternative bed for the night should it kick off, and preferably make sure your daughter is out of the house when you have the discussion. This is worth throwing a sickie for.

Option two is you start taking steps to get the fuck out of dodge unilaterally. Possibly not recommended, but hey it's your life.

Your relationship with your daughter can and will survive; don't think it depends on you staying with your girlfriend, it doesn't. And your daughter won't thank you for staying on and suffering in silence for the next 12 years.

But you can't ignore the situation. Finding out who the third party is is not important. Sorting this mess out and moving on with your life is; but realistically, the relationship is over. Good luck.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Sun 6 Mar 2011, 14:01, Reply)