Actually now that I think about it
I did wake up once with a pounding headache and my left leg stuck to my sheets by what looked like a pint of claret. After peeling myself out of there, I took a look at the leg and found three half-inch-deep gouges taken out of it. The jeans I had been wearing looked like I'd been attacked by a tiger.

It turned out that I'd slipped over on a short-cut home and ripped my leg open on some half-hidden barbed wire. I had no recollection of this happening at all. Luckily I'd had a tetanus injection 4 years ago after snapping my penknife shut on my finger, so that was a relief.

The shower looked like somebody had been murdered, so I'd obviously already tried to wash the worst off, then collapsed into bed, passed out and quietly carried on bleeding for however long. I can only surmise that my weight pressing against the sheets stopped me from bleeding out entirely.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 12:23, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I had a very similar drunken escapade
at a staff do once. They had a buffet from a really good deli there, and far too much of it too; I thought I should take it home for the next day. I carefully balanced two porcelain dishes full of coleslaw and mozzarella and tomato salad on a flimsy as fuck metal tray covered in satays, sausage rolls etc.

I lived round the corner from the pub (about 25 metres) and set off. At this point, I was about 8 pints down and combining that with wearing cowboy boots and carrying a fully laden food tray, it wasn't going to end well.

I remember falling over and smashing one of the porcelain bowls and gouging my hand scooping up the coleslaw (full of razor sharp shards) onto the tray. I carried on determined all the way to my flat, where climbing 3 flights of narrow spiral stairs I shoved the train in the fridge and got into bed.

The next morning, I found this:

a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/190291_18538623912_509488912_117437_4009_n.jpg
a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/199861_18538618912_509488912_117436_3718_n.jpg
a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/200409_18538613912_509488912_117435_3426_n.jpg
a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/200265_18538608912_509488912_117434_3112_n.jpg

Turns out one of the razor sharp shards had cut a hole in my leg quite severely when I fell over. There was blood everywhere. I could hardly walk because I'd bruised my knee when I fell over. The house was like a fucking horror film, bloody handprints on the door handle, the fridge, the walls up the stairs, drips of blood from my knee all the way around the house.

The worst thing was, all the food I had was spoilt from the porcelain bowl tainted coleslaw *cries*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 12:32, Reply)

We're going drinking together one day.
It'll be in the next day's newspapers.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Deal
I forgot to mention the blood in the coleslaw too, and the pool I was able to pour out from my boot.

Brilliant night.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Cool
The first to lose a limb wins.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 12:39, Reply)

that makes me feel sick
the coleslaw that is, not your leg
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 12:33, Reply)