Sod it, I might just go with
"There's a party in my pants: I've filled them with lobsters. They've all got little party hats that I made for them and they're all having a really lovely time."
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 22 Jul 2011, 13:46, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

*lobster hands*

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 22 Jul 2011, 13:47, Reply)

*hands lobster (replete with party hat)*

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 22 Jul 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Are they dead?
Or at least have you tied their hands? Otherwise, the experience can be painful.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Jul 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I think some sort of codpiece might be in order
But hopefully, if the lobsters are having a good time, they won't feel inclined to attack my testicles.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 22 Jul 2011, 13:54, Reply)

I'm visualising a pair of clown trousers with the enormous waistband
full of water and lobsters quite happily going about their lobstery business.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 22 Jul 2011, 14:16, Reply)

In party hats.
It's not a party if there are no party hats.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 22 Jul 2011, 14:24, Reply)