Mines pretty good I have to admit Gonz
I get to be woken up by the sound of the wife having a shower while Classic FM tinkles away from her alarm radio. Sometimes she turns on BBC Breakfast before she gets in the shower so I get to wake up to whatever slutty little number Sussannah Reid has decided to wear that day.

After that she usually leaves for work before me, so I eat my rice crispies in front of either channel four, or sometimes I stand in the kitchen listening to Today on Radio 4.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 9:28, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I read that as your wife tinkles Classic FM
I think I need more coffee.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Sounds like the bit in Independance Day when Will Smith is in the shower while his kid is watching telly and the news of the space ship is on, and then everything starts rumbling and will smith is all like "aww HELL no".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 9:33, Reply)

And he turns around is all like "Yeah, shit just got real mother fuckers"

( Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Do you wake your wife up by punching her in the face, say "Welcome to earth", and then light up a cigar?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Only on saturdays
so the bruises have gone down by the time she's back at work.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 9:38, Reply)

I can just imagine her sitting around the coffee table with a couple of girl-friends, laughing to herself as she dunks her rich tea into her coffee going, "It was funny the first time, but every sodding week. AND, and, he leaves the towel on the floor".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 9:41, Reply)

But, but, but, I do the laundry more often than her and I always empty the dishwasher.
So you know, it's swings and roundabouts.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 9:47, Reply)

that would be hilarious

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 9:44, Reply)