I've found a more reasonable outlet for my viscious, untenable anger.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 21 Oct 2011, 21:43, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

I have an awful feeling that Peter Sutcliffe may have come to a similar reasoning.
Please don't.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 21:46, Reply)

Nah, I have no pathological tendencies thank you.
I think I was perhaps misdirecting my anger previously. I'm not going to let it get to its preferred destination, merely feeling it is enough. It's a damned sight better than it would have been ten years ago, I'd have buried it and it would have poisoned my soul then. Now, it's inside but it's tangible, and I'm happy about that.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 21 Oct 2011, 21:48, Reply)

THIS POST WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY TAMPAX

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 21 Oct 2011, 21:49, Reply)

Sounds very healthy.
Maybe I should try some of that.
( jenpots, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 21:54, Reply)

Are you new to OT?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 21:56, Reply)

Don't knock this one, she's cool.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 21 Oct 2011, 21:57, Reply)

I ain't doin' no knockin', nilla.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 21:58, Reply)

Not really
I've posted a few times.
( jenpots, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 21:59, Reply)

I do apologise Miss Pots.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:00, Reply)

Ooooh jenpots.
Yeah it's kinda healthy I suppose, although I'm not sure you'd approve of the preferred target of my monstrous raaaAAAaaaageeee!
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 21 Oct 2011, 21:56, Reply)

I could take a guess :o(

( jenpots, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 21:59, Reply)

Not deserved, in reality, and I'm cool with that.
Like I said over there somewhere, I'm allowing myself to feel it, but not directing it, which is kinda nice.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:25, Reply)

No, if you store your anger
eventually it turns to power

/true facts
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 21:57, Reply)

It doesn't though
You just end up flailing around looking like a right twat.
( jenpots, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 21:58, Reply)

This is where I go wrong :(

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:01, Reply)

So you're content to walk about with a burning ball of fury in you?
Like a mobile nuclear power station, if you will.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:16, Reply)

I am a constant seething ball of rage.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:19, Reply)

I know you are
The question was aimed at Noel.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:20, Reply)

You are one funny guy, Robert.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:22, Reply)

No - YOU ARE ROBERT!

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:31, Reply)

You're Robert, and so's my face.
ami doin it rite?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:32, Reply)

Nope, there's a difference between keeping it in, and feeling it and letting it go.
It's taken me fucking years to realise this, but there it is.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:26, Reply)

So you're saying
That it's controlled, compartmented, subdued?

It's still in there, though.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:30, Reply)

No, it's being felt.
It doesn't have to have a target to be tangible, it just has to pass through the mechanisms that let you feel it. I'm a fucking master of suppressing/realising/releasing anger, I've been doing it for twenty years, although the releasing part has only been around since the last therapy sessions.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:32, Reply)

So it's there
And I don't know how you want it to manifest itself.

It's an energy and how does it spend itself?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:35, Reply)

I could talk for days about this.
I'm quite happy, these days, feeling emotions. I used to keep them in and bottle them up, particularly resentment and anger. I use the analogy of a filing cabinet in the back of my brain, with these dark, rotting emotions stuck at the back of drawers that never got opened. After ten or more years sat back there poisoning my mind, I got some therapy and brought down the barriers to letting them out. I didn't have to be a seething volcano of explosive anger, a danger to all around me. I was in control of my emotions and I could keep tabs on the extent the impacted the outside world. Now, after plenty of work, I let myself feel these formerly-"negative" emotions so they pass through me and out of my brain. They don't have to have a target other than "somewhere other than my head". Which is kind of refreshing.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:39, Reply)

Also, BERT MONKEYSEX'S MOTHER'S PENIS IS YOUR MUM'S NOSE etc etc

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:39, Reply)

Talk then
I'm not always here but lay it out.

There are occasional knobs who are actually in a far worse place than you've EVER been, but don't have the self-awareness to understand that.

Of the evening contingent, I don't think there's anyone that wouldn't let you be what you need to be.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:46, Reply)

Ahhhh see I have my outlets, that was just a comment on my experience with my own emotions.
Hopefully I've explained how I manage to feel things without a specific external target for them :)
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 21 Oct 2011, 22:48, Reply)