I'm ignoring your question because I forgot to put my answer to the Tactless QOTW
So I will bore you guys with it.

The night they discovered my dads body I was in London staying with my aunt the day before going to see my girlfriend. I got the call at about 11.30pm and called my girlfriend at midnight to tell her. The next day I went to visit my girlfriend and as I walked through the door her mother looked at me with a face like thunder and shouted "What kind of person phones their girlfriend at midnight! It kept me awake and I have to fly to Brussells today!" "I'm really sorry" I said "But I had a good reason" She shouted right in my face "Nothing as important as a death!" and stormed out of the house for her three day business trip. She didn't find out until she got back and she never mentioned it again.
( Peej, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 14:21, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

You should have clit kicked her

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Hoofed her in the cod mitten.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 14:24, Reply)

sucker punched her gunky cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Headbutted her axe wound.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Clouted her in the clunge

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 14:29, Reply)

flicked her beans

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Ok, I've deliberated over these now
And, while I like the alliteration of Trotter's effort, there is something pleasing about the repeated "uh" sound in Apo's work along with the (almost) iambic pentameter used.

Nakers wins.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 14:34, Reply)

\o/ WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 14:35, Reply)

can i get a runner up badge?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 14:38, Reply)