i remember going to see the backstreet boys with my gay mate nick
who has the worst gaydar in the world. he asked me how i could tell which guys were gay. of course, 99% of them were, at that particular venue. the gay guys looked to be all that i have described above. then there was the occasional specimen wearing shit ill-fitting jeans, with a bad haircut, yelling something about "fucking pussy" and trying to carry 6 pints of stella in each hand.

i don't think nick had really given any sympathy to what it means to be a woman until that night.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 9:52, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Well let's see now
Your criteria:

tall - er, ok not really. 5'11". Probably taller than you though?
lean but muscled - er, bugger. I play plenty of sport and go to the gym once or twice a week. Not bad for a man of my vintage I suppose.
good looking - ok, we'll maybe come back to that
dresses beautifully - oh fuck sake this is getting difficult now
smells amazing - what on earth does that mean?
funny - well, yes - people laugh at me - does that count?
clever - captain of my pub quiz team - is that good enough?
nice - sorry, epic fail.

Conclusion - must try harder.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 30 Nov 2011, 9:58, Reply)

the question marks speak volumes
you are straight.

prosecution rests.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Well my GF, ex-wife and thousands of ladies around the world will be delighted to hear that.
Ta.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:07, Reply)

thousands?
really?

nice work. but do get tested, ok bro?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Lolz
I meant thousands of potentials darling, although I do prefer your interpretation.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:13, Reply)