I have a film pitch for you:
Wogs On A Tram.
I only have one bit of script written so far, but it's a doozy.
"I have had it with all these mother fucking wogs on this mother fucking tram."
Not sure if SLJ will be up for it though.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:17, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

It would be a great way of introducing the world to the delights that are Croydon.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Terrorists have filled a Croydon tram with people who look a bit different to your average caucasian council estate resident.
Then they put pheromones in the tram's airfreshener which make them all act like the Duke Of Edinburgh imagines they act.
Only one woman can save the tram by shouting profanities incoherently into the back of her toddler.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:27, Reply)

*buys tickets*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:28, Reply)

The non-caucasians would, of course kill the driver in some sort of caniballistic voodoo heathen ceremony.
Then someone who had played tram-simulator computer games would have to land the tram while Samuel L Jackson (whited up) would shoot out the windows to get the stench of foreign food out.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:34, Reply)

....and all is resolved in the closing minutes by a 'dance-off'*
*won by the nig-nogs, obv, due to their 'natural rhythm'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:36, Reply)

"Wogs on a Tram"

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Yes.
That is what I said. Yes.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I repeated the bit that made me laugh the most
and completely forgot to write "officelol". My mistake.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I see.
Fair enough.
Soz.

Can we have a racist woman on a tram film pun thread now?
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Fear And Lothing In Las Croydon?
No. Soz. That's rubbish.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:40, Reply)

I'm afraid it is. Soz also.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:43, Reply)

'Donnie Darkie'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:44, Reply)

'Spade-ing Places'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Soz.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Gunfight At The KKK Corral.
Nope. I'm shit at this. I give in.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Meet Smelly Black

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Dirty Rotten Samboes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:53, Reply)

I smell Oscar, here*.




*Oscar is the name of the vagrant who begs outside my office
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:30, Reply)