My throat is fucked.
I have been unable to sleep for more than an hour at a time all week as when I swallow it wakes me up with the pain.

I'm sat in front of a delicious Brazilian beef and black bean soup and I cannot eat it.

Not a patch on your ailments but I've never been in so much pain in my life. WOE - AND I MEAN WOE - IS ME.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:05, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Get some of those meal replacement milkshakes to keep your strength up.

( girlinthehole, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:07, Reply)

I was told I was half a stone overweight a month ago.
Bet I'm not now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:08, Reply)

You still need vitimins and minerals innit.

( girlinthehole, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:09, Reply)

I can't even drink water.
My piss is like sherry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:09, Reply)

Then auntie Blouse is stumped.

( girlinthehole, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:10, Reply)

None of the things that would normally cheer me up do anything but make it worse.
I think heroin might be the way forward.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:13, Reply)

I would start with paracetamol and work your way up.

( girlinthehole, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:16, Reply)

I'm double-dropping paracetamol and nurofen alternately
and have an anaesthetic throat spray.

NOTHING DOES ANYTHING
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Throat amputation is the way forward.

( girlinthehole, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:23, Reply)

It doesn't matter what I go through, if I just stubbed my toe or just found out I've got eye cancer and brain aids.... it's not going to make your throat feel any better or worst.
Everyone has people who are doing better/worst than others, one never takes away the right for the other to get a bit of sympathy.

And just for the lols, I just spilt a glass of water down my trousers and it looked like I pissed myself, so I wen to the bathroom and held my groin up to the hand-dryer before realising I wasn't tall enough so took off my trousers. It's a good thing the dryer/hand-basen/cubical is all in one room rather than one of those toilets where the hand-washing side of things are shared.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Disappointing lack of 'the MD's disabled wife came in'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:29, Reply)

+ the hot air had given me a minor bone-on

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:34, Reply)

+ I'd forgotten to wear pants!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 13:35, Reply)