Woodwork squeaks and here come...
Was not Was, y'know.

Drunk. Bored. You, charming little urchins that you are?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 21:51, 34 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I ate a shit load of pizza
and my guinea pigs are in a mood because they had to have a bath. Homer especially is just booting stuff around the cage like a petulant kid
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 21:59, Reply)

Now, these are creatures that run about wild in Patagonia.
They don't get bathed there. They don't need to be bathed. Why?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:03, Reply)

they do when one of them is a long haired pig
who has tangles in his bum fur that he won't let me brush out. The other, admittedly, was just a bit stinky
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:08, Reply)

Watching trailer park boys, smoking a joint

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:08, Reply)

Oh that just makes me bring up ten sorts of wrong images in my head Bobby.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:12, Reply)

I'm pretty sure I'm dying from lung aids

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:23, Reply)

Don't die you daft bint!
I reckon I might get to Bull Run next year - Mannassas to you.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:32, Reply)

i know what bull run is, you twat

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:33, Reply)

Don't you be calling me a twat
Y'OK?

And I can't spell Mannassassss.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:35, Reply)

I totally already did.
and I feel like wolf pussy times ten
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:38, Reply)

I'm slammed down.
Yo be Wolf Pussy x 20, mofo bitch.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:40, Reply)

I don't speak chav.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:41, Reply)

Frankly, Darling, neither do I.
It may well be, as finances are favourable, that I will be in a position to visit our former colonies in the latter part of 2012.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:45, Reply)

these are exciting times indeed
it appears to be that since my finances are not favourable I will likely be living with my parents until I'm 45
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:47, Reply)

Oh Madam
A visit to Manassssaassss ish high upon my list of things to do.

Surely you could don your finest robes and come and get very pissed with TD?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:51, Reply)

I'd love to be refined and stuff
But the cat has just chucked his guts up.

x
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:57, Reply)

My mum's having a party whilst I'm stuck here upstairs.
Someone is playing the guitar down there. We don't have a guitar, which means someone went home to get one. My life really is turning into some sort of sitcom farce.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:26, Reply)

are you not cool enough to join the party?

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:28, Reply)

I was down there and socialising before they all got pissed and unbearable.
Although it's quite funny as everyone here are the parents of my friends.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:35, Reply)

I like hanging out with my friends parents, I feel like I'm in a special club.
granted, I wouldn't do without the friend being there
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:37, Reply)

I had a decent and lengthy conversation with my best mate's dad earlier.
But I'm not going down there when they're currently belting out All The Young Dudes at the top of their lungs.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:52, Reply)

I spent a lot of time socialising with my parents and their friends when I was younger.
I blame this entirely on my dubious taste in old men.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Dec 2011, 22:55, Reply)

They're all really, really sound people.
And funny when they're pissed, but only when you are as well. Same with most people I suppose.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 23:06, Reply)

Oh, I hate being around drunk people.
Like, hate with a fucking passion.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Dec 2011, 23:08, Reply)

To be fair I'll be up to speed with them soon enough.
Just finished my sixth bottle of Duvel and am now moving onto the bottle of port I got for Christmas. It's my defence mechanism for dealing with them/my downheartedness.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 23:20, Reply)

No text then?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Dec 2011, 23:20, Reply)

Yeah I got a text.
She's staying in with her mum cos she (the mum) just split up with her husband and she'd be on her own otherwise. We're seeing each other in a couple days, but no matter how good tomorrow night is I'll just be wishing she was there, that's what I'm bummed about. Plus behind my knobhead exterior I'm a hopeless romantic. If it was up to me, tomorrow would be spent watching films on the sofa with her.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 23:31, Reply)

Well, she didn't tell you to fuck off and die
which has got to be a bonus.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Dec 2011, 23:35, Reply)

It is a bonus.
And oh lord, I've spent the last half hour downstairs. Absolute gold, in fact gold beyond words. I definitely live in a Hollyoaks plotline.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 31 Dec 2011, 0:10, Reply)

There's worse stuff to be singing than "All the Young Dudes."
My 38 year old still living at home brother will probably be rocking out to Neil Diamond as we speak.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 23:10, Reply)

Nothing wrong with Neil Diamond.



God, I'm old.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Dec 2011, 23:13, Reply)

I'm older than you.
I'll be 44 next year.

Won't be here tomorrow night, so I wish you all a better year than this one.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 23:25, Reply)

Thank you. Back atcha.
I could do with a better year.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Dec 2011, 23:26, Reply)

oh man you're so old I can't hang out with you

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Dec 2011, 23:39, Reply)