DKDC
Alt: a bottle of water is a very kind gesture. I don't tend to give money to the homeless because the way I see it, they'll only spend it on booze. So in a highly efficient time-saving measure, I spend it on booze. I even drink it for them. But do they thank me?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:08, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

They'd probably say you could keep your Pink Screaming Cosmotini-Colada

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:09, Reply)

Oh my god, is that a GAY joke?!
Wow, it's been such a long time since I saw one that I hardly recognised it. I congratulate you on your strikingly original wit, sir.

(Feel bad now, the name of the drink did actually make me giggle)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:12, Reply)

You make it sound like the rest of this board comes up with varied and original insults for each other

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:17, Reply)

Shut it, you mischevious horse wrangler.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:19, Reply)

My, you have thrown the gauntlet down,
you obstreperous purveyor of second-rate musical theatre.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:20, Reply)

You simpering collector of pre-1950 Action Man accessories.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:22, Reply)

You rejected idea for a Fred Bassett comic strip

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:22, Reply)

You leftover ticket stub from a divorced Dad's disappointing family trip to the zoo.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:24, Reply)

You misfiring jet of wee-wee from a man who has just ejaculated.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:25, Reply)

you rejected joke of Michael McIntyre

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:28, Reply)

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:29, Reply)

Not one of my own, but
You are indirectly responsible for the existence of Russell Brand.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:29, Reply)

Oof, harsh words!
You less-favoured sibling whose school reports never meet your father's expectations, but simply provide yet another twist of the dagger in his heart that you already were.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:29, Reply)

You Christmas Decoration left hanging in the window of the costcutter by Waterloo that has dead wasps hanging on it and has been there since at least 2009.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:31, Reply)

Have just reached my gay jokes limit break for today
+1 handbag flail
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:23, Reply)

Oh, wind your neck in, Dorothy.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:23, Reply)

Oi, that's my friend you are talking to...
...oh...shit...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:25, Reply)

Some people are just ungrateful.
I then went round the corner and saw a guy sitting in a doorway begging for change. I didn't buy him a bottle of water. Does that make me a terrible person?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:10, Reply)

Nah
One good deed a day makes you a fabulous person. Two makes you Esther Rantzen. You dodged a bullet
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:17, Reply)