Alt: I think the real message of Easter* is being missed by many these days.
*the pulling off of the greatest PR/marketing scam of all time. The upper echelons of a fledgling new cult suddenly find themselves unemployed with the execution of their leader. In a breathtaking meisterwerk of spin, these fuckers manage to keep their positions by convincing people that

1) rather than the execution of their leader being clear evidence that the cunt was clearly mortal and the game is therefore up, he in fact deliberately got killed as part of his genius plan to save everyone
2) he’s not really dead – we saw him, honest, he told us to keep up the good work and then ascended into heaven, take our word for it, we were there

Whichever of them came up with that as a strategy is a genius. I bet they couldn’t fucking believe it when people actually swallowed it. Brilliant.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:48, 5 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

See you in church on Sunday then.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:49, Reply)

Easter wouldn't be Easter without my loudly pissing in the font during the collection.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)

I prefer to take a dump on the altar myself.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:54, Reply)

I believe it was max Clifford

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:50, Reply)

R Kelly's PR-themed etc.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Of all the disciples who could have thought this up, I doubt it was Thomas
I bet Judas said he was going to let on though.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Divinity-lolz

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)

Weakest of all the lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:55, Reply)

truely
I feel very awkward about indoctrinating children into a certain religeon
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)

I was mightily relieved
when my ex and I agreed that lying about faith for the benefit of our daughter's school choices was something we felt we could not do. When I found my kid crossing herself (she goes to a Catholic preschool) a genuine chill ran up my spine. Fuck that shit - I refuse to pretend I believe in that hogwash.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:03, Reply)

They will probably already have told her that God loves her more than mummy and daddy do.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:05, Reply)

I am of the opinion that religious people are either
a) the most gullible and stupid unquestioning brainwashing victims of all time - whose beliefs based on nothing whatsoever make them clearly so dense they should under no circumstances be educating children or
b) cynical liars
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:12, Reply)

C) feeble minded and scared to believe that they are all alone and so push their reason to the side to feel some 'comfort'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)

Either way, keep away from my child, thank you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)

see i thought about this last night
and i agree but then you hit a problem; try telling this to someone who has lost someone they care about

a dead mother, father, borother, sister, close friend or partner, and suddenly you're destroying someones (clearly stupid) belief that that person still exists and went on to a better place
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)

They need to be disabused of this nonsense.
Comforting it may be - but clearly bollocks and they need to deal with it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)

true but i'm not gonna be the one to shatter those illusions

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)

Which is why Existential Nihilism should be on the school curriculum.
The earlier the better.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:23, Reply)

I am more than happy to do that.
In fact I consider it my duty to do so wherever possible.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:32, Reply)

go ahead then, tell your son that there is no heaven and no hell, and that when you die there is nothing

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Why the fuck not?
It's most likely the truth. I think that being freed from the notion that you are anything other than an insignificant speck is liberating, personally. Once you grasp that, you can see that nothing really matters.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:39, Reply)

Stop quoting Queen lyrics.
Thank you.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:40, Reply)

I wouldn't know, mate, sorry.
I'm not the keen Mercury follower you seem to be.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:41, Reply)

you won't be saying that when he has to bury his first hamster/cat/dog/mum

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:51, Reply)

Upon my honour I will.
I will focus on the 'they cannot feel pain any more' angle.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)

erm excuse me but i don't think you should be slagging off anyones prophets
i mean, who would fiddle with all our little catholic schoolboys if it wasn't for jesus?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)

I'm sure you would man up

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:56, Reply)

i bet you'd look great in britches

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:04, Reply)

This is an excellent point
And one which I shall be including as part of my discrediting Christianity campaign I have been forced into starting for my son, to counter the nonsense they fill him with at school.
I may use fewer expletives though.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:02, Reply)

You shouldn't have been a pushy parent and sent him to a church school.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:05, Reply)

It is not a church school.
This is why I can't understand all the Jesus nonsense that is on the curriculum.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:06, Reply)

Don't worry, next term will be about Mohamed.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:07, Reply)

In the interest of balance I think they should learn about atheism too.
and I don't mind if they learn about other religions as well.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)

When we were children
it was the fucking law that all schools had to have a Christian-themed assembly every day. At least things have moved on a little since then. Thanks, immigrants. For this, and for your lovely takeaways, if nothing else.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)

Thankfully my secondary school was such a lefty place that they did not adhere strictly to this
Their one concession was to allow some god botherers in once a year to spout some nonsense.
Is this no longer law then?
I recently discovered that the local priest gives regular assemblies at my son's school and we were invited to a "pop connection" concert at the school which turned out to be a load of "uplifting" songs taught to the kids by some fucking Jesus-by-stealth practitioners.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)

They changed the law a few years back.
To avoid upsetting the Muzzers etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 10:30, Reply)