following on from
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1687473 (thanks for asking Monty)

Malc was telling us this story about his dodgey uncle, which his dad told him last week.
His dad and his uncle used to hang about in the same social club for years (in Kent, so you know they're pikeys even if 'social club' wasn't a big enough clue).

and anyway they were in this social club one night and the barman's telling malc's dad all about how their fruit machines got robbed the night before, someone had broken in and emptied all the gaming machines throughout the whole bar.
then malc's uncle decides to get a round in, asks everyone what they want and goes to the bar with malc's dad, orders about a dozen pints for their group and when the barman says the round comes to £30 quid or whatever, malc's uncle reaches into his pockets and pulls out fistfuls of change, £1s, 50ps and 20ps, counts it out exactly on the bar and hands it all over to the barman without even flinching, while malc's dad realises what's happened and quietly shits himself in the corner.

lol?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 14:56, 4 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

No. Not a lol at all.
1/10. Try harder otherwise you'll be sent for extra tuition.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 14:58, Reply)

get to fuck battered, just cos you can't reach the slot on the fruit machine

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 14:58, Reply)

I bet you secretly missed me last week didn't you?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:04, Reply)

honestly, i swear on my mother's life i didn't even know you were gone

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:05, Reply)

Thanks.
*sniff*
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:06, Reply)

ROFLCOPTERS

(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 14:58, Reply)

i've heard this before.
Malc is s liar.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:11, Reply)

more specifically, malc's dad is a liar

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:45, Reply)

tldr

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:16, Reply)

i've never heard you complain about length before

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 15:45, Reply)

well, no
i imagine it's a complaint you've never had
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:06, Reply)

yes, i am somewhat well endowed

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 16:11, Reply)