I offend people all the time.
My catalogue model good looks, rapier-like wit, impeccable sartorial standards, extremely high intelligence and sexual attractiveness conspire to engender rage in many people.

Not even my humility and modesty can defuse the general public's sense of outraged injustice.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 15:54, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

no, i think it's definitely your modesty and the way you put yourself down all the time

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 15:55, Reply)

maybe baby.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 15:56, Reply)

i think we need to see a pic of one of the catalogues
pleeeease?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:02, Reply)

I will link to one of them if you link directly to your employer's website and your linkedin profile.
Only fair.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:09, Reply)

sure
but you go first, i asked first...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:12, Reply)

after 3...
1, 2...3!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:19, Reply)

*spaffs onto a biscuit*
Sorry, force of habit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:24, Reply)

It's not that mate
No-one likes the Scotch
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 15:56, Reply)

actually dudette
Chicks dig Scots accents. But not the Weedgie one.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 15:59, Reply)

no
chicks dig irish accents.

mmmmmm. irish.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:00, Reply)

Scots and Irish.
Science.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:02, Reply)

The Weedgie accent ALWAYS sounds like "I am going to stab you now" to me

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:05, Reply)

Shut up. Wanker.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 15:58, Reply)

Shit off you cockstain.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:00, Reply)

Go fuck your own arse with a rusty screwdriver.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:02, Reply)

oh baby, the things I could do to you with a coathanger.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:03, Reply)

I wish your mother had done something to herself with a coathanger a long time ago.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:05, Reply)

Please
Explain
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:08, Reply)

Home abortion.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:12, Reply)

Yes, I know darling
I was obviously hoping for some disgusting details. Like inserting the coathanger into the foetus' eyeball in order to drag it out. That sort of thing.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:13, Reply)

I will leave this to your colourful imagination.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:15, Reply)

NO
I WENT ALREADY
IT'S YOUR TURN
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Aug 2012, 16:18, Reply)