I took the kids to the park to throw stuff at the ducks.
They're quite good at it now. The mini one got a cygnet right in the fucking beak and the big one nearly drowned a coot.

Imma make a fire and cook a tandoori chicken and some naaaaaaans.

Hope this helps.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 9 Sep 2012, 13:46, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

you should have cooked tandoori swan

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 9 Sep 2012, 13:49, Reply)

I don't think a whole swan would fit in the woodfired oven.
I'm a failure.

:(
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 9 Sep 2012, 13:55, Reply)

yes
perhaps you should have got them to aim for a coot
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 9 Sep 2012, 13:56, Reply)

I've never eaten a coot.
I bet they're pretty good eating. I might give it a go.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 9 Sep 2012, 13:59, Reply)

I can never remember how to tell coots from moorhens
but I hear they are both cunts and like to drown their offspring, so they probably taste of moral high ground
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 9 Sep 2012, 14:02, Reply)

Moorhens are smaller and have a red beak.
There's not much meat on a moorhen but it maybe tastes sweeter with the lustguilt of infanticide.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 9 Sep 2012, 15:53, Reply)

Oh mate, nah' man, we all feel like that sometimes but you're deffo not a failure.
Look at all the stuff you've done, you've got a book in your name and actually made your own oven; how many people can say that? Look, I got a number you can call, they're very friendly and they offer a sympathetic ear. I never realised you felt that way, I would have texted more often.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 9 Sep 2012, 14:03, Reply)