Carpentry. Qualified diesel mechanic. Can use a combine harvester. Can ask for a receipt in about 12 languages.

Alt: Greg Wallace. WHY?

AltAlt: Don't care. Hope it's permanent.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 8:30, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I can do a passable Charleston to "Combine Harvester" by the Wurzels
That's virtually the same thing.

With you on Wallace. As far as I can tell his USP is opening his mouth really wide. And saying everything John Torode says in a slightly different way.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 8:34, Reply)

seriously? Charleston is not that hard.
Rock step, pump step pump step, and repeat. Guys charleston steps change very little. How can you say yours is only passable?
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 4 Dec 2012, 8:42, Reply)

He's just gutted he can't dance as well as this lot
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahoJReiCaPk&feature=youtube_gdata_player
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 8:44, Reply)

Yes I am
Although that's Swing rather than Charleston
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 8:47, Reply)

Thats actually the vid that got me into Swing dance.
I can do a couple of the little aerials in that vid actually. Lindy swingouts are fucking awesome when you get them right!
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 4 Dec 2012, 8:53, Reply)

I don't mean passable by the standards of someone who's just turned up to their first lesson, for one thing
For another, that sounds like six-beat Charleston which is basically the same as rock jive, the routine we put together had a wide variety of steps, lifts, and - this is the important bit - legs and arms moving independently of each other's timing. That's MULTITASKING.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 8:46, Reply)

Oh the horror of multitasking!!

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 4 Dec 2012, 8:47, Reply)

I'm a boy!
Horror is putting it mildly
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 8:47, Reply)

I read this as 'Gosh I really am the most frightful chutney'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 8:48, Reply)

I read this as 'I wish I could afford friends'

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 8:50, Reply)

Eh?
I read that as 'I'm out of my head on 'French blues' '
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 9:07, Reply)

I'm calling you poor, Monty.
It's both witty and original.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 9:12, Reply)

Unfortunately what it ended up looking like is that you consider it necessary to buy friends.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 9:32, Reply)