I'd like to point out that it's been too long in the UK since we had someone make a pathetic attempt at being a serial killer.
Whilst it's highly unlikely we'll see someone as wonderful as Moaty again we need someone to attempt being the next Derrick Bird.

I'd like to suggest one of you gives it a go. If you decided to take me up on this challenge I will pay a whole £6. per kill, with a £20. bonus for slaughtering plumdozer.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:45, 6 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I work just round the corner from Moaty's storm drain, you know.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:47, Reply)

I'm hoping to make it back to Rothbury on my way up Edinburgh.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:48, Reply)

I nearly didn't get out of the place last week cos the road conditions were completely shit.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:50, Reply)

I'm disappointed it will be too cold for me to wear my bright orange t-shirt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:52, Reply)

You're the borderline psychopath round here, why don't you do it?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:47, Reply)

Nothing borderline about it Nakers. Watch out eh?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:49, Reply)

*checks under desk*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:51, Reply)

To my mind Shipman doesn't really count
and that self-styled 'Crossbow Cannibal' wanker was shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:48, Reply)

Agree about Shipman. He cheated.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:48, Reply)

Crossbow guy had QOTW written all over his face

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:50, Reply)

I always refer to Shipman as a mass murderer rather than serial killer.
But that's just personal preference.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:52, Reply)

My personal preference is that someone takes me up on my offer and kills you.
Today if possible.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:54, Reply)

your personal preference is young boys

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:15, Reply)

They categorised Shipman as our 'worst' serial killer
As he was the most prolific, surely he was our BEST serial killer.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:34, Reply)

fuck off with your rehashed jokes you prosaic prick.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 12:09, Reply)

Derrick Bird was a mass murderer
Not a serial killer.

For God's sake man, have some respect for the Ted Bundys of this world.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:50, Reply)

True,
I quite like a good family murder, like that English fella, emigrated to France, lost all his money l, killed everyone (including the dogs and horses) and then burnt the place to the ground. If you're gonna flip out, kill everything.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:50, Reply)

Got to go out in style.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:53, Reply)

I don't like any sorts of murders.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:56, Reply)

what a controversial stance

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:58, Reply)

I find them fascinating.
I watch a lot of murder documentaries.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:02, Reply)

CSI Miami is my favourite

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:03, Reply)

I'd like them to make CSI York as a one off special, featuring the painful slaughter of the trainee manager of the Whitby New Town Leisure Centre

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:04, Reply)

When I was a jobcentre monkey
I had a client wot done a murder. He was a bit of a cunt, really.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:05, Reply)

Met a couple of murderers who were homeless post prison discharge when I volunteered for Crisis
Neither of them looked particularly mean or nasty.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:08, Reply)

This guy was.
A horrible, weaselly looking scrote of a man who also happened to be HIV positive and deliberately infected his girlfriend. Him and another bloke did a homeless guy in and dumped him in the sea.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:11, Reply)

Sounds like a real charmer.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:14, Reply)

He was indeed.
I had another client who everyone suspected was a kiddy fiddler. A few months after I left the job, lo and behold he was banged up for it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:23, Reply)

Deacon shoe lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:21, Reply)