You would have been well rounded if you were a man.
Have you considered a sex change?
(Elephant Balderdash attempting to bottle the absurd, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 14:23, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

My dinner for the day was jelly. JELLY.
A) because I'm too poor to buy other food
B) because I'm too lazy to steal my housemate's food.

And yes. Several times. I don't like the idea of a dangler. it would annoy me.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 5 Jan 2013, 14:25, Reply)

Jelly covers all the E numbers one requires in a meal.
Having a wang is great, you can slap people in the face with it and piss up stuff (like your own front door for example).
(Elephant Balderdash attempting to bottle the absurd, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 14:32, Reply)

not entirely sure I want to pee on my front door.
also this was special jelly. Gluten free, no artificial colours or flavours.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 5 Jan 2013, 14:35, Reply)

To mark your territory?
Get yourself some jellied eels.
(Elephant Balderdash attempting to bottle the absurd, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 14:37, Reply)

no, to mark my territory, I clean things.
Also, I kill the spiders that intrude as a warning to others.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 5 Jan 2013, 14:38, Reply)

I suggest you eat them to supplement your diet.

(Elephant Balderdash attempting to bottle the absurd, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)

no thanks. I'm not that desperate.
urgh. got the shudders just thinking about it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 5 Jan 2013, 14:53, Reply)