I was totally in to this girl that used to come in to a pub I worked in,
One night I'm finishing my shift as her and her mates walk in, get chatting, join them for a beer, get on really well with them all, get a bit too pissed, take one of her mates home after girl of dreams leaves early, destroy all chances with girl of dreams.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:34, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I feel your pain.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:35, Reply)

Were you girl of dreams? is this my chance to do it right after all these years?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:36, Reply)

If only.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:38, Reply)

balls.
Well, of you're out there girl of dreams, and you haven't gotten fat, or had your face smashed up or got some horrible burns or anything. I'm still waiting.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:40, Reply)

The only way to fix this is to tell Mrs Pig the whole story
and see if she could maybe try to look and act a bit more like the dream girl. Then it's win-win.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Textbook shooting self in foot.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:35, Reply)

Oh yeah, I've done that.
Very attractive girl, pulled her guard dog at a pub. Worst possible move.
( Kroney, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:37, Reply)

Guard dog = excellent.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:38, Reply)

i knew you and stunned were up to something when you went outside

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:40, Reply)

officelol at "guard dog"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:41, Reply)

It's a delicate balance
paying more attention to the guard dog is good, you come across as sweeter and more sincere, and you get to demonstrate your winning personality, and at the end of the evening perhaps casually move a little more attention to the lady you're after.

Sadly, what usually happens is it all gets a bit hazy after two or three pints to many, you wake up next morning in an unfamiliar bed with a lead and collar on the floor and you have to gnaw one arm off to escape without waking her, and the other off to remind you not to do it again.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:42, Reply)

what a touching tale

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:43, Reply)

hey, I'm just channeling Kroney.
I'd never fall for the guard dog trap. Honest.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:44, Reply)

pffffffffft

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:46, Reply)

Well, in fairness I did once
but I then went out with her for about 9 months as in the course of the evening it became extremely obvious she was much more interesting, pleasant and funny than the original object of attention.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:49, Reply)

holy shit
kroney

read this. read it 15 times.

now re-read what we were discussing yesterday!

i love teh badger.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:54, Reply)

Once again, you entirely missed the point I was making
in favour of your own prejudice. Tut.
( Kroney, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:56, Reply)

shut it, marriedboy

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:57, Reply)

I've heard this once described by the motto
"If you want a shot at the master, you have to go for the hounds first."
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 14 Feb 2013, 10:59, Reply)