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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Wars have been fought over mine.

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:19, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
You mean it's got more pockmarks and wrinkles than Flanders?

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:20, Reply)
I mean there's a dirty, stinking, rat-infested trench running through it and clouds of toxic gas that will blind a fellow wafting about all over the place.

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:30, Reply)
Plus a spent cannon, intermittent flooding and fallout that makes it unfit for human habitation?

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:36, Reply)
I really must replace the blind in my bathroom.

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:38, Reply)
Why? HAS HE DIED LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:40, Reply)
I think so, he only came round to tune my piano , and said he was just popping to the loo,
and that was six months ago.
(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:43, Reply)
how tall was he?

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:46, Reply)
I don't get it soz

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:50, Reply)
You don't remember the ten inch pianist 'joke'?

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:51, Reply)
He should
He was probably around when it was written
(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:52, Reply)
Careful, I'm older than Monty.

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:53, Reply)
You're older than the new pope?

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:57, Reply)
I do indeed.
Just wondering how desperate Phil must have been to try and shoehorn it into a reference to a blind piano tuner.
(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:53, Reply)
Look, he's having a tough time at the moment what with this mediator asking him about his wanking habits, so let's give him the benefit of the doubt this time eh?

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:54, Reply)
I'm usually far to polite to mention it, but...

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:20, Reply)

A cause of unplanned pregnancies for ropey old sorts?
(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:25, Reply)
Unlanned is right!!!!

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:28, Reply)
LOOK I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT MY CANDLES, RIGHT?

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:29, Reply)
You actually are, it's rather sweet.

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:30, Reply)
I say 'sweet', what I mean is 'bent'.

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:30, Reply)
oh come on Boyce,
Let him have this day. Who are we to piss on a man's 10 years on a comedy site day?
(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:34, Reply)
Sshhh!
I'm trying my hand at 'trolling the trolls'!!!

Tee hee!!!
(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:37, Reply)
you're a monster.

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:40, Reply)
You're not doing it right.
You need to be calling me and my wife increasingly offensive things whilst saying how much you're enjoying seeing me get angry and throw insults around.
(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:41, Reply)
HAHAH BECAUSE *YOU'RE* THE ANNOYED ONE!!!!
THIS IS ALL PART OF MY PLAN SO HA!
(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:41, Reply)
Call his wife fat.
Then we'll all sit back and chuckle about him renting a house.
(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:41, Reply)
thing is though, his wife IS fat.

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:43, Reply)
Also, he DOES rent a house.
Just sayin'.
(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:49, Reply)
I bet he doesn't even have a shed to go and hide from his miserable life in and pretend to be fulfilled.

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:55, Reply)

b3ta.com/board/10940028
(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:40, Reply)
Well really.

(, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:43, Reply)

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