I used to work for Lockheed Martin a number of years ago
One morning we came into the office and the gents was closed for cleaning. We had a little moan about how it was a silly time to do some cleaning, when the guy told us that it was because someone had smeared shit all over the walls sometime during the night. The only mystery....was who.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 8:55, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Theres a nutter student here called the phantom shitter
He squats over the bowl and sprays shit all over the back of the toilet. He also took a shit outside the staff room. He spends all day looking at Al Qaeda websites and threatened to shoot up the IT suite.
( Peej, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 8:57, Reply)

Ha ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 8:58, Reply)

Fucking hell
And he's still there?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 8:59, Reply)

Yup, he's an international student so pays a shitload to be here
so they won't kick him out
( Peej, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 9:00, Reply)

Ah, gotcha
The freaky thing about my story, is that we didn't have any youngsters at all. No students, no call centre full of kids, nothing. Very strict security procedures in place, so no one outside of the company would be able to enter the building, especially at night. Very weird. And gross.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 9:02, Reply)

and arousing right?

( Peej, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 9:06, Reply)

Well, I'm just a man
Flesh and blood and all that
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 9:07, Reply)

YES I AM THANK YOU VERY MUCH

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 9:00, Reply)

They should get Gillian McKeith in to analyse the evidence.
Like psychological profiling, to help them identify the culprit.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 26 Mar 2013, 9:01, Reply)

Well it was about 10 years ago, so some might say we've left it a bit late

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 9:03, Reply)

Chris Offili has a lot to answer for.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 9:03, Reply)

Is it still art if it's smeared on the wall of the khazi?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 26 Mar 2013, 9:05, Reply)

Judging by most of the art from the last ten years
its not art if it isn't
( Peej, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 9:06, Reply)